


Mating

by shieraseastar03



Series: ACOMAF [12]
Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: F/M, Mates, Mating Bond, The Court of Nightmares (ACoTaR), The Night Court, Velaris
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-29
Updated: 2019-05-29
Packaged: 2020-03-29 10:59:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 24,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19018540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shieraseastar03/pseuds/shieraseastar03





	1. House of Mist

Brightness assaulted her, and she gobbled up her surroundings: mountains and snow all around, fresh and gleaming in the midday light, so clean against the dirt on her. They were high up on the peaks, and about a hundred yards away, a log cabin stood tucked between two upper fangs of the mountains, shielding it from the wind. 

  
“The house is warded, so no one can winnow in. No one can get beyond this point, actually, without our family’s permission”.

 

Rhys stepped ahead, snow crunching under his boots. Without the wind, the day was mild enough to remind Shiera that spring had dawned in the world, though she would bet it would be freezing once the sun vanished. 

 

She trailed after him, something zinging against her skin. 

 

“You’re allowed in” Rhys declared and Shiera raised her brows. “Because I’m your mate?”. 

 

He didn’t reply and reached the door to the cabin, which she unlocked with a wave of the hand.

  
A main, wood-paneled room consisting of a kitchen to the right, a living area with a leather sofa covered in furs to the left; a small hall in the back that led to two bedrooms and a shared bathing room.

 

He had suspected it before she had even freed them from Amarantha, before Tarquin...

  
And her wedding day in the Spring Court… Had he interrupted to spare her from a horrible mistake or for his own ends? Because she was his mate, and letting her bind herself to someone else was unacceptable? And beneath the barrage of my thoughts, a throb of relief.

  
Her engagement with Tamlin had been doomed from the start. Shiera knew she couldn’t get married with him because she didn’t love him. She loved Tarquin.

 

And she had left… only to find her mate. To go to her mate. She had been rescued by her mate.

 

And Rhys had thought she had shared a bed with Tamlin. He thought that she was in love with him...

 

For months and months. He had known but he had also known she would react badly. That it would hurt her more than help her.

 

And what if she had known? What if she had known that Rhys was her mate while being married with Tarquin? And then when she was forced to marry Tamlin...

  
It didn’t excuse his not telling her. Didn’t excuse the recent weeks, when I’d hated myself so much for wanting him so badly, when he should have told her. But… Shiera understood.

Just last night, she had been curled beside him, counting his breaths to make sure he didn’t stop making them. The night before, she had been in his arms, his fingers between her legs, his tongue in her mouth.

  
Mate. Her mate.

  
And she had run away. Precisely how Rhys expected her to run. She had walked away from him, a day after she had told him he was the only thing she would never walk away from.

 

Mate.

  
The word chased her.

 

Shiera’s stomach grumbled, and she realized she hadn’t eaten since the day before,   
because… Because Rhys had been injured, and she had gone out of her mind, absolutely insane when he had been taken from her, shot out of the sky like a bird.

  
She had acted on instinct, on a drive to protect him that had come from so deep in her… So deep in her...

 

Rhys stared at his and took a deep breath before daring to talk again. “I… I know what I have done and I know what you are going to do but before… I have to ask you, I need to hear it from you” he paused, “Is it so bad….to be my mate? To be a part of our Court, our family, tangled history and all?” he asked quietly

 

He thought that she would reject him, that she would hate to be part of his story.

 

A tear fell. “No” she  breathed, “No, it’s not. That… That’s the thing” she sobbed.

* * *

 

They arrived at the kitchen, Shiera could see cans of soup and paint on a table, actually the whole table was covered in bright colors used to paint. 

 

“Tell me about the mating bond. How to accept it and… how to reject it” she demanded with her voice as cold as the Winter Court, “I don’t know the rules so you need to explain them to me”.

He lingered in the center of the cabin, watching her every move. He said hoarsely, “It’s an… important moment when a female offers her mate food. It goes back to whatever beasts we were a long, long time ago. But it still matters. The first time matters. Some mated pairs will make an occasion of it, throwing a party just so the female can formally offer her mate food… That’s usually done amongst the wealthy. But it means that the female… accepts the bond”.   
  


“A mating bond can be rejected” Rhys said mildly, “There is choice. And sometimes, yes...  the bond picks poorly. Sometimes, the bond is nothing more than some... preordained

guesswork at who will provide the strongest offspring. At its basest level, it’s perhaps only  that. Some natural function, not an indication of true, paired souls. Even so, there will always be a… tug. For the females, it is usually easier to ignore, but the males... It can drive them mad. It is their burden to fight through, but some believe they are entitled to the female. Even  after the bond is rejected, they see her as belonging to them. Sometimes they return to  challenge the male she chooses for herself. Sometimes it ends in death. It is savage, and it  is ugly, and it mercifully does not happen often, but... Many mated pairs will try to make  it work, believing the Cauldron selected them for a reason. Only years later will they  realize that perhaps the pairing was not ideal in spirit”.

“So you’re saying I could walk away and you would have free rein to kill whoever I wish to be with?”.

Rhys stared at her, “Not free rein, not in my lands. It has been illegal in our territory for a  long, long time for males to do that. Even before I was born. Other Courts, no. On the  continent, there are territories that believe the females literally belong to their mate. But  not here. You would have our full protection if you rejects the bond. But it will still be a  bond, however weakened, that will remain”.

“If you choose to... reject the bond, you only have to say it and I will never mention it again. We could stay as… friends, if it’s what you need. But I would accept and understand if you don’t want to see me again. You could stay in the town house or move to the House of Wind, or get a house in the city. I would give you the money to open your own art shop. Or… I could take you back to Adriata, if you want. You decide, it’s… It’s your choice”.

Shiera stared at Rhys. He stared at her.

  
His cheeks were tinged pink with cold, his dark hair ruffled, and he honestly looked freezing as he stood there, wings tucked in tight. And the princess knew that one word from her, and he would  go flying off into the crisp night.

His nostrils flared, scenting the paint behind her, but he didn’t break his stare. Waiting.

  
Mate.   
Her mate.

  
This beautiful, strong, selfless male… Who had sacrificed and wrecked himself for his family, his people, and didn’t feel it was enough, that he wasn’t enough for anyone… Azriel thought he didn’t deserve someone like Mor. And Shiera  wondered if Rhys… if he somehow felt the same about her.

She found a container of soup on the wood counter that someone must have brought in, and scrounged up a cast iron pot to heat it. 

“You said that for accepting the bond the female has to offer food, right?”. He nodded, “Alright then. You will tell me the whole, and when I mean whole is the complete story, even the smallest details and thoughts. When you finish, I will decide what to do. Do you agree?” the young princess asked in a cold voice and he nodded again. 

He understood her offer: tell her and she would decide at the end whether or not to offer him that food.  A chair scraped against the wood floor as he sat at the table  and Shiera did the same. For a moment, there was only silence.   
  


He joined his trembling hands, lifted a bit his gaze to look at her green eyes filled with determination and began his story. 

 


	2. Rhys' story

“When I went to the illyrian camps, my mother gave me her ring so it meant that she would be always with me in that camps but when I finished training she made me return it and she gave it to the Weaver and told me that if I found my mate or I got married, the female should be strong or smart enough to get it back, if she achieve it, she would survive the marriage. My mother was a seamstress at her camp, she loved making dresses, she continued even when she came to Velaris. She made lots of dresses as a mating or wedding gift for my future bride if she had achieved to take back her ring” Rhys revealed but before starting again he took a deep breath.

 

“After returning from the camps, in Hewn City I… I met a beautiful female, her name was… Alyx. She was the daughter of one lord of the city and she was… Wonderful. For the first time in my life I fell in love, and I wanted to go back everytime that I could just to see her again. After two more meetings she confessed that she was also in love with me and I was so happy…”.

 

“We were together when my father commanded me to lead one of the illyrian legions because the war had just begun. My legion hated me for being half Fae, my father commanded Cassian to be just a soldier even of his abilities were much more valuables in addition, the other soldiers hated him for being a bastard and Azriel was used by my father as his personal shadowsinger. The battles happened and we read everyday the lists of the fallen ones just to check that my brothers were alive”.

 

“We fought but I was captured by Amarantha's army, her captains held us for weeks, torturing and slaughtering my warriors. They put ash bolts through my wings, and they had those same chains from the other night to keep me down. Those chains are one of Hybern’s greatest assets, stone delved from deep in their land, capable of nullifying a High Fae’s powers, even mine. So they chained me up between two trees, beating me when they felt like it, trying to get me to tell them where the Night Court forces were, using my warriors, their deaths and pain, to break me. Only I didn’t break,” he said roughly.

 

“And they were too dumb to know that I was an Illyrian, and all they had to do to get me to yield would have been to try to cut off my wings. And maybe it was luck, but they never did. And Amarantha… She didn’t care that I was there. I was yet another High Lord’s son, and Jurian had just slaughtered her sister. All she cared about was getting to him, killing him. She had no idea that every second, every breath, I plotted her death. I was willing to make it my last stand: to kill her at any cost, even if it meant shredding my wings to break free. I’d watched the guards and learned her schedule, so I knew where she’d be. I set a day, and a time. And I was ready, I was so damned ready to make an end of it… I dreamt of killing her for everything she had done but I thought that I would never have the opportunity, that I would die there and… That I would never see Alyx again” his voice was a whisper and he fought to maintain the tone.

 

“There was nothing but my rage, and my relief that my friends weren’t there. But the day before I was to kill Amarantha, to make my final stand and meet my end, she and Jurian faced each other on the battlefield. I was chained in the mud, forced to watch as they battled. To watch as Jurian took my killing blow. Only… she slaughtered him. I watched her rip out his eye, then rip off his finger, and when he was prone, I watched her drag him back to the camp. Then I listened to her slowly, over days and days, tear him apart. His screaming was endless. She was so focused on torturing him that she didn’t detect my father’s arrival. In the panic, she killed Jurian rather than see him liberated, and fled”.

 

“So my father rescued me… and told his men, to leave the ash spikes in my wings as punishment for getting caught. I was so injured that the healers informed me if I tried to fight before my wings healed, I’d never fly again. Cassian and Azriel carried me to this cabin so I could heal and rest. Mor knew that we would be here so she brought Alyx and she stayed with me while they healed me and when I promised to kill Amarantha. We were here when the messages arrived about the final terms of the Treaty”.

 

“A hundred years after that I proposed and she accepted, we were engaged, we were getting married and I felt an infinite joy. But some lords of Hewn City rebelled and her father was one of them so my father canceled our wedding. Alyx and I wanted to be together so I went to tell my father that no mattered what her father had done, I loved her more than anything. But my father said that if I left that room to be with her, he would disinherit me… I didn't hesitate and I gave my throne to my sister. When I met Alyx again, I told her what have happened and I asked her of she would marry me anyway; she told me that she loved me, not my crown so we went to a priestess in the middle of the night and we got married in a secret ceremony, just the two of us and the priestess. I was so happy that I didn't care about the consequences, I belonged to her, she was my wife and I was her husband. We went to live in the House of Wind but we didn't wear rings because being part of my family… Was dangerous. And if someone found out that she was my wife… I didn't want to (loose) her so we never wore anything that would show our relationship. Only her parents, mine and my Inner Circle knew that we were married… I needed to protect her. I thought of giving Alyx the dresses that my mother had made but she told me that if my wife wanted them, she had to get the ring back. Alyx was… I used to call her: my lady. She was nice, kind and so beautiful…. But I would never make her take that ring because it was too dangerous, she was perfect but and I knew that she wasn't able to enter in the Weaver's house so I decided to leave the ring there for my sister when she grew up”.

 

“When my mother, my sister and my father were murdered… All my close family had died and the throne would be for Keir but it's tradition that even if you refuse the throne you will get it, then if you don't want it you can give it to someone else of your family… I didn't wanted Keir to have the throne because he would lead us to be another Court of Nightmares so I became High Lord. I had lost my parents and my sister so Alyx comforted me because I felt an endless sorrow, I thought that it had been my fault but she told me that I shouldn't blame myself. Cassian and Azriel loved my mother because for them she had been a mother to them and they loved my sister as their own so they were also grieving” his voice was starting to break and Shiera took his hands between hers, feeling that his story was starting to go deeper.

 

“Years passed by and one day… Alyx found out that she was pregnant” Rhys whispered and Shiera felt how two tears fell down her face because he had told her that he had only been with two females in his whole life, one had been Amarantha and the other one was the only one he had loved but she had left him. Know hearing that she had been pregnant she felt how fear and sadness entered in her body.

 

“I was so full of hope… But also afraid because that baby was mine and my family could always be in danger and because I wasn't ready to be a father, I knew that Alyx would be the perfect mother but I…. I was a mess. When the birth came… I fought to be inside the room with her, as my father had done when I was born but like him, I was expelled from the room. I heard my lovely wife suffering inside and suddenly a soft cry was heard too… I couldn't believe it… After all we had fought to be together…. We were a family, we had a child. The midwife allowed me finally to enter and I found Alyx holding our little baby… She told me that we had a tiny male,  and we named him… Alec” tears were falling down his cheeks as more fell from hers, Shiera then separated one hand from his to cover her mouth, trying to calm herself.

 

“We felt a happiness that I would never seemed possible… Alec had Alyx’ bright blue eyes and he was as calm as she always was, they were so similar… But she always told me that he was exactly like me” Rhys confessed being able to smile a bit as he wept.

 

“After some weeks little wings appeared in Alec's back. Alyx didn't like illyrian wings so much because her parents had thought her that illyrians were inferior to high fae, and she was afraid of heights so we couldn't fly together, that's why I never had my wings were we were together and why Alec didn't use his own in his childhood”.

 

“We were a fully happy family, Alec trained a little with Cass, Az, Mor and me, I read books to him, Alyx though him to play the piano… Mor, Cassian and Azriel had a little nephew, Alyx and I were parents, we were married and we had a son, a wonderful son…” Shiera's heart was shattering hearing those words.

 

“When Amarantha returned to these shores centuries later, I still wanted to kill her. The worst part was, she didn’t even know who I was. Didn’t even remember that I was the High Lord’s son that she’d held captive. To her, I was merely the son of the man who had killed her friend… I was just the High Lord of the Night Court. The other High Lords were convinced she wanted peace and trade. Only Tamlin mistrusted her. I hated him, but he’d known Amarantha personally… and if he didn’t trust her… I knew she hadn’t changed. So I planned to kill her. I told no one. Not even Amren. I’d let Amarantha think I was interested in trade, in alliance. I decided I’d go to the party thrown Under the Mountain for all the Courts to celebrate our trade agreement with Hybern…”.

 

“Before leaving I kissed Alec's forehead and hugged him, then I embraced Alyx and I told her that I… That I love them both, more than anything in the world” his voice started to break and Shiera's hand hold his again as more tears rolled down their faces.

 

“When Amarantha was drunk, I’d slip into her mind, make her reveal every lie and crime she’d committed, and then I’d turn her brain to liquid before anyone could react. I was prepared to go to war for it.”

 

“But she thought faster, acted faster. She had been trained against my particular skill set, and had extensive mental shields. I was so busy working to tunnel through them that I didn’t think about the drink in my hand. I hadn’t wanted Cassian or Azriel or anyone else there that night to witness what I was to do… so no one bothered to sniff my drink. And as I felt my powers being ripped away by that spell she’d put on it at the toast, I flung them out one last time, wiping Velaris, the wards, all that was good, from the minds of the Court of Nightmares, the only ones I’d allowed to come with me. I threw the shield around Velaris, binding it to my friends so that they had to remain or risk that protection collapsing, and used the last dregs to tell them mind to mind what was happening, and to stay away. Within a few seconds, my power belonged wholly to Amarantha” two tears slid down his cheeks, swift and cold.

 

“She had met Tarquin while she had been traveling and when she poisoned us the curse began. Tarquin was the best High Lord of all of us and on his shoulders was the future of Prythian, he had to fell in love with not only a human, but she had to kill one of Tamlin's men, fell in love with Tarquin and then he had to marry her three months before the curse came to its end”.  
  
“She slaughtered half the Court of Nightmares right then and there. To prove to me that she could. As vengeance for Tamlin’s father… And in that room, with all the bodies on the floor, Amarantha grinned at me as she chained me to her throne and three people appeared… I couldn't believe it, I started to try to get freed of that damned chains because those people were… Alyx, and her parents. They had rebelled against my father, the didn't allow their daughter to marry me and finally they had an opportunity to overthrow me. They had deceived Alyx to go back to Hewn City, saying that they wanted to see her and that they accepted me after all. My wife… She was so sweet and kind that she thought that they deserved another opportunity, but they betray her and went to see Amarantha. She tried to know everything but I managed again to make her parents forget everything about where we lived, Amarantha flew into a rage and killed them as Alyx watched and cried, knowing what would happen then. I begged Amarantha to free her, she had murdered her parents who knew nothing but she was young to die, Amarantha thought that I cared about her and started to… She tortured… my wife as I couldn't do anything to stop her because if I begged again she would make it even more painful because she would realize that I had lied, that I cared about her” Rhys voice was now trembling and Shiera’s body was too, she sobbed holding his trembling hands with her own.

 

“We both knew what would happen but I didn't want to believe it. Amarantha took a knife and began to approach Alyx I entered in her mind to say… To say that all would be okay, that I… That I would find a way to… But she wasn't afraid of death, she only feared what would happen to Alec and to me. She told me not… Not to grieve her death like I had done with my family's, not to break. I told her that I couldn't live without her, that I… That I loved her. But she made me promise to find love again, to love someone again because I deserved to find happiness again… I told her that I only loved her, that I could never love anyone else but she said that… That I had such a big heart, that I could love another one… And when Amarantha stabbed her… Alyx was crying as she whispered that… That she loved me. I fought against the chains when her body fell and Amarantha grinned at me as my wife died in front of me, as she said that she loved me…” Rhys voice broke, more tears fell and sobs filled his mate's throat.

 

“After all we had been through, after all we had fought and achieved… Everything that I had, everything that I loved… All disappeared in a second. I had achieved to be fully happy, to have a family… And in a moment I lost everything, I would never see my family again, I would never see my son grow up and my wife… My sweet wife… Was dead” Shiera covered again her mouth again, sobbing without control.

 

“Then, Amarantha took me to her bedroom and… I knew in that moment that there was nothing I wouldn’t do to keep her from looking at my court again, from looking too long at who I was and what I loved… I said to myself that I didn't care what she did to me, Alyx was dead and I couldn't avenge her… But what was left of my family was save in Velaris, our son had to grow up without facing being invaded by Amarantha, and if could give him that chance… I told myself that it was a new war, a different sort of battle. And that night, when she kept turning her attention to me, I knew what she wanted. I knew it wasn’t about fucking me so much as it was about getting revenge at my father’s ghost. But if that was what she wanted, then that was what she would get”.

 

“I spent years serving her and I knew that conceiving was rare between faes but I had to be with her for the fifty years that would last the curse and seeing that the curse was impossible to break… I… I knew how to prepare a birth control tonic and I… I always took it before… going to bed with Amarantha. But the ingredients Under the Mountain were… I knew that if I spent so many years taking that strong tonic I would never… I would never have children again. I didn't care in that moment because I only focused on not giving Amarantha a baby and I knew that I had made Alyx a promise but I also knew that I would never find anyone who I could love or that she would love me, so not being able to have children again was not my biggest problem and I have Alec as my heir for whatever that could happen to me” Rhys cheeks were covered by tears, as Shiera's, and she was crying uncontrollably.

 

“After twenty years trapped, I started to forget the faces of my family, my parents, my sister, Mor, Amren, my brothers and… Alyx. I couldn't remember any of their faces and Alec… He must hated me because I couldn't save his mother and I abandoned him… He was twenty-eight years old, much older that I was when I met his mother… And I would never see him growing up”.

 

“I spent more years only with the thought of that I was serving Amarantha to protect Velaris and my family, even if I didn't remember their faces, even I didn't care about my life, even if I had no hope at all of returning home. I reached a point that I wanted to die, I was going to kill myself, I knew that I would never see my family again so I…” he let out a sigh.

 

“But… thirty years ago, while sleeping with Amarantha I dreamt… I saw two soft hands… Painting the ocean… and every little thing inside, the seaweeds, fishes, the sand, a jellyfish… I felt that in the dream I was inside of the head of who painted… And she was a girl, not a female… A human girl. She felt such love for the ocean as she painted it… That girl loved the ocean as much as I loved the stars… And for the first time in twenty years I smiled feeling her love, she reminded me that somewhere there was a human girl loving and painting the ocean. I woke up by Amarantha's side, she was still asleep but I laid again as I remembered every small detail of that wonderful dream. I only had those dreams once every few months and everytime that I have them were different… That girl… Once I saw her claiming a tree, enjoying it as she (chased) the sky, in another one she was looking at the birds flying, thinking how wonderful would it be to fly, in another one she was thinking about life, death, immortality, existential questions… In another she dreamt to be a beautiful butterfly so she could fly away and see the world, in another a dolphin to swim and live forever in her beloved ocean, in another she was looking at the waves crashing in the rocks, admiring the beauty that was showed to her. In another she was watching… She was watching the stars, the ones that I haven't in 20 years, she loved looking at them, she imagined that her loved ones who were dead were watching her from the sky… like I thought that my mother and sister were doing, and everytime a shooting star appeared like the one from Starfall, she made a wish, like I did my whole life and she loved those bright stars the same way that I did… I enjoyed every dream that we shared… They were the only thing that brought me some joy in those miserable years, that young human girl… She was so so happy, so intelligent, so passionate, so determined, that I… I…fell in love with her. I had told Alyx that I could not love anyone who wasn't her but… I fell in love with the girl whose dreams I saw. I didn't know anything of her, her name, her face or her age… I had fell in love with someone I had never seen but I loved her, that was the only thing that I was sure about, finally I had some hope in my life, that she would live a long and happy life even if I never see her” Rhys had lowered his gaze and his tears were falling on his trousers.

 

“16 years ago… I felt something in my heart, something that I had never felt before and when I dreamt that night, the dreams were more clear. Then I understood that the dreams that I had been seeing were a vision of future because that girl had just been born. I had fell in love with someone that I didn't know, that had been just born and that she was much younger than my own son. And 2 years ago, I felt that the girl… That she was in the Mortal Lands of this continent, I saw her hunting and one day she was painting a dresser, she painted flowers in one drawer, in the middle one flames and in the last one… She felt that she was like the wild ocean, that she was nice in the surface but she was deep like the depths and for loving her, her darkness had to be loved too. I thought the same of me, that I was like the night, dark and scary but I had light to those who wanted to look. So I showed her an image of the violet night sky full of stars and she painted it above a wild and beautiful turquoise sea. When she ended the painting, she was so proud of having both that she loved in that cupboard, and she felt a connection with both…” Shiera was crying, understanding what he was saying, what he meant.

 

“A year later the girl crossed to Prythian, I didn't know why and how she had entered and I didn't know in which Court she was but I had felt her love for the ocean and I thought that she would enjoy the Summer Court... For months we didn't share more dreams but I felt that she was happy and finally one night she showed me huge bonfires in a forest and drums... There was only one party like that, Calanmai and I realised that you have ended in the Spring Court. If only I could see you… One night then, I made sure that Amarantha was... satisfied, and I convinced her to allow me to visit Tamlin because maybe there were traitors in his Court and Amarantha was so nervous... There were only 2 months left of the curse and even if Tarquin hadn't broke it, maybe there were still traitors against her. She finally allowed me and for the first time in 50 years, I could left that mountain".

 

"I arrived at Tamlin's Court and I... I felt the human girl walking through the forest, admiring the flames and loving the rhythm of the drums. I followed that thing in my heart that had appeared when she was born, even if I didn't know what was it. And when I entered in the woods... I found the girl of my dreams... Literally”.

 

“You were so beautiful, so human and so young... You had gave me hope and joy even through the darkest nights, you had saved my life, made me fall in love again...  I started to talk even before I could think of what I really wanted to say, but somehow the words were right".  
  
"There you are, I've been looking for you..." his first words to her ever, not a lie at all.   
  
"When you looked at me I realised that I knew you but you didn't know me. But when I saw your eyes, your wonderful green eyes... As green as the tree that you had climbed, as the seaweeds that you had painted... You looked at me and you felt something in the depths of your soul, like I did when you were born... But I had to keep my feelings because those three immortals... What they wanted to do to you... When I came back to Under the Mountain, I modified their memories and they confessed that they were traitors against the High Queen. It wasn't true but they deserved what they got because I saw in their minds what they wanted to do when you were alone with them... I enjoyed every little scream of their agony. But I couldn't stop thinking that I had met you, the girl who owned my dark and shattered heart... Amarantha noticed that even if I had enjoyed the death of the traitors, I was behaving different. She started to doubt about my loyalty so after killing those three, she made me be... with her the whole night".

  
"Don't you dare to think that I hadn't to pay for that visit" he had said Under the Mountain and indeed, he had payed such a high price just to see her.

  
"Then the Summer Solstice arrived and Amarantha began to trust me again so she commanded me to visit Tarquin, there were only three days left of the curse... Tarquin was the best High Lord and I knew that he wanted to do changes about equality, so the high faes and the lower ones could have the same rights but I said to myself that I had to wear my mask even with the most kind High Lord. But when I entered in that room... You were there... You were in the Court that I believed that you would love... Everyone in that room was afraid but you weren't, you didn't know who I was, what I... had done. I couldn't take my eyes of you and you... broke my mask for a moment.   But when I saw the ring in your finger and the same ring in Tarquin's hand... You were married, you were married with the best High Lord, the kindest, the one whose eyes were like the ocean itself... I understood why you had been so happy in Prythian, you had been with the High Lord of the ocean, the sun... But I couldn't let my heart control me so I had to ask if you were the girl of the curse. Tamlin and Lucien started to talk and when they said that damned words... I had being hating them for over 50 years but there they were... The male who had helped to murder my family, had just told the girl who I loved... What I exactly was..."

  
"But you started to ask questions with your smart brain dying to find answers, you were so determined... And I saw Tarquin hugging you, the love that your faces showed... You loved each other so much... But the curse was about to end and I knew that if Amarantha found out that Tarquin was married to a human girl, the one who could have break the curse… That's why I had to scare you and Tarquin understood what could happen if Amarantha found you. I made Tamlin beg, like I did when my family had died, like Amarantha had made me beg for my wife before killing her. Then, Tarquin sent you away to protect you and I felt a relief when I came with Amarantha's court to take Tarquin's Under the Mountain and you weren't in that palace. But when we were in the throne room and the Attor appeared… I felt the same thing that when Alyx appeared in that same room, fifty years before. I was so afraid… And Tarquin felt the same way, our hearts stopped when you appeared and declared that you were his wife and demanded Amarantha to break the curse. But your eyes were filled with determination… you weren't afraid. When I saw  you being such a badass and so sassy with Amarantha… I wanted to laugh for the first time in 50 years, seeing her anger and your confidence. You were so intelligent that you managed to make a deal with Amarantha so you had an opportunity to break the curse. Then I found hope again, I would help you to break it and if you achieved it I… I would forget what I felt whenever I saw you… You would return to Adriata, with your husband… And I finally could return home, even of that meant to forget everything that had brought me joy for over 30 years”.

 

“The first trial arrived and you managed it so well… You even tried to kill her and I was so amazed… Then when the Wyrm harmed you, I… I saw my chance and for the second time in my life I was selfish, the first one had been when I chose to get married, forgetting my throne and then, I wanted… I needed to know you better. You were in that dark cell, so alone, so sad, so afraid… But you showed courage while we negotiated and I felt how you wanted to know more about me, about my Court, it was incredible… We started to make the deal but when you told me about your vision… That couldn't be possible, you were so young and Tarquin was so kind… What I felt didn't matter, none of you deserved to die, you had well-earned to be happy together”.

 

“You confessed that that day was your 16th birthday and I was so shocked… You had got married with fifteen and you were trying to defeat Amarantha in three trials… You were so young…” Rhys sighed.

 

“I made you wear those silks and tattoos so I would notice if someone had touched you. I gave you the wine so you couldn't remember any of the events of those nights. When I found you two together… I heard your words, the love that you both expressed… I realised that Amarantha was coming and of she found you she would… I did the only thing that would keep both of you safe. You were so afraid of me that I hated myself even more than I did and when they came, Tarquin was shocked as Amarantha thought that I felt something for you. I had to convince her again that I didn't care about who she believed that I loved, the only difference was… That I hoped that you could leave that damned mountain while you were alive”.

 

“Some nights later I felt your pain and sorrow and I went to your cell, when I found you… I could have killed those three but they deserved to suffer. They had tortured you, your back, your hands… You had been tortured as Alyx was.. And you were about to be raped… I free and I carried you to the only place safe in that mountain. When we talked… You weren't angry or scared of me, you… You trusted me… I healed you and you were so nice… I trusted you and I could show you a shadow of my wings, the ones that I couldn't wore because they would be cut and the ones that I couldn't wore even… Even with my wife”.

 

“I had you in my room, you were safe and talking normally with me… I felt a relief because I had a little peace in my confinement, but all that wonderful relief disappeared when Amarantha called me. You and I knew why she called me… I hated that you knew what I had to do… And the last thing I wanted to do was being in her room when I could be in my own, protecting you, when we had finally talked with trust between us. But when I arrived at her room… I wasn't ready for what I saw… Tarquin was chained to one of the walls, she… She made him watch as I… As I…” Rhys voice broke again as Shiera cried with more intensity.

 

“When we finished, Amarantha commanded me to lead Tarquin to his room, she wanted him to hate me so no alliance could be made between us. When we arrived at his cell, Tarquin looked directly to my eyes and asked if I served her for obligation or for choice, he needed to know if I could be trusted because he had the fear that he might die in that mountain and he wanted to protect you. He wanted to trust me and I felt that I could trust him too so I told him what Amarantha had done, what had happened since I left my home until that moment. His voice broke and he told me that he was sorry, sorry about my freedom, my family… But he wasn't angry because I loved you, he felt a relief and I didn't understand why. He told me that if he died you would broke in such a way… That you wouldn't be the same again. He begged me to not let that happen. He loved you so much… He knew that the opportunity to break the curse had disappeared but he proposed you anyways because he was so in love… He loved you more than anything in his life, more than his own life… He knew that his time with you was limited so he cherished every single smile that you gave him, every hug and kiss that you shared…”.

 

“He asked me to give him paper so he could write three letters, one for Cresseida, one for Varian and one for you. But he told me that I couldn't give them to you because in the letters was written lots of things, many related with what I felt for you, so he asked me to give it to you once we were together. I laughed and told him that he was crazy, you would never fall in love with me but he told me that you loved the sea and the stars, that I was a good male, that of you had made a deal with me to stay in my Court, that meant that you trusted me. He believed that you would be happy in my Court, that you would fall in love with me…” more tears fell from his violet eyes filed with an incalculable sadness and she cried again.

 

“The last trial arrived and I saw your fear when Amarantha told you to stabbed Tarquin but your wonderful brain… You tricked her and I thought that all was over but it wasn't… You answered her riddle and the curse was broken. I saw the anger in her face and I tried to run to you but she tried to kill Tarquin and you… You sacrificed yourself for saving your husband, what I hadn't be able to do with my wife… She broke your neck and… You died too. Again, it had happened again, that joy in my life was gone, you were gone… When you fell, they thing in my heart that I didn't know what was… I realised that you were my mate, my mate… And you were dead”.

 

“Amarantha attacked again as Tamlin killed her but no one knew who had been harmed until… I approached to where you were, in your husband's arms but Tarquin… He was bleeding. And when he looked at me, in his eyes were all the words he had told me in that cell. I had an idea… I didn’t want him to die but he knew that there wasn’t any hope for him, yet you could be saved. Tarquin loved you so much that he begged me to resurrect you. The 7 of us gave you our drop of power and life and you opened your green eyes again”.

 

“Tarquin smiled at you and when you realized that you were immortal, that you could be with him forever… But when you noticed his wounds, and begged us to save him, Thesan told you that nothing could be done… He made you promise that you wouldn't close your heart for another one, he asked the same that Alyx did to me and you answered the same that I did, that you only loved him, but he said the same as my wife… That you had enough room in your heart for another one. Tarquin was not afraid to die, he only regret not having the time that he had wished with you. And when he died… He had been the best High Lord ever, he had fought against Amarantha, tried to defeat her, nearly broke the curse, he had married the girl who owned his kind heart… I couldn't believe that after all… He was dead. And you… You  thought that you could live an immortal life with him only to find out that… You broke… You broke and I couldn't do anything to help you”.

 

“At the funeral you confessed that you couldn't be in Adriata without him and that you were looking forward to visit my Court. It was unbelievable… After you had lived… you wanted to come… I was starting to winnow when I finally felt it… The mating bond hit me so hard that I nearly fell but I couldn't tell you so… I disappeared”.

 

“Before I realized, I appeared inside the House of Wind. I was still thinking about what had just happened, the last trial, when you sacrificed, Tarquin dying, the funeral, the mating bond… But then I was in my Court again, in my house, where I had been with Alyx and Alec the last time… I found Mor and she embraced me with tears in her eyes because she was happy because I had came back but she told me that Alyx was dead… That she had been murdered by Amarantha when I was trapped. I told her that I… That knew it. And then I asked about Alec… He was 58 years old, 58… I had lost his entire childhood, nearly his whole life, his mother was dead, he might hated me… But I needed to see him. Mor winnowed us into a forest, where Cassian and Azriel were training, and when we arrived they hugged me. But suddenly I heard a voice calling them… A young winged male appeared from between the trees, his eyes… He had her wonderful blue eyes… I still remembered the kid that he had been the last time that I saw him, but that male in front of me… He was an adult, a tall and strong male. When he looked at me, he froze but in a moment he winnowed and embraced me with strength. After a while we separated, he also thought that I didn't know about… About Alyx death. He tried to tell me about it but I said… That I knew it… And that I was so, so sorry about… everything”.

 

“We went back to Velaris and Alec leaded me to a balcony so we could talk. He asked me to tell him everything and… I did. I told him everything since I had met Alyx until I had arrived again to Velaris. I thought that he would hate me for abandoning him, locking Velaris, letting his mother die and love a sixteen year old girl with who I had fell in love only twenty years after losing my wife, a girl who had been human and who had been married with another High Lord… But Alec… He didn't hate me, he had missed me for all those years, he had thought that I didn't know that my wife was dead, that I he would never see me again, that I wouldn't be proud of him… He declared that he didn't hate me for my absence, that I had been sacrificing myself for our Court and that he couldn't have endured what I did. In addition, he alleged that he would support me with you, because I really loved you and when I talked about you I wasn't the ghost that I was while talking about him, or his mother”.

 

“Weeks passed by and I felt how you were breaking but Varian and Cresseida were also grieving so they couldn't help you. You vomited and cried every night… You were suffering so much… But I wanted to give you time to heal, the last thing that you needed was having to be in my Court. I heard that you moved to the Spring Court and that you were about marrying Tamlin, you were engaged with the male that had killed my family… But I accepted it, you were young, beautiful and so smart that you deserved to fall in love again, Tarquin wanted you to do it, and I accepted that you were marrying Tamlin, if he could make you happy…  But he only broke you more”.

 

“I planned to get drunk with Cassian, Azriel and Alec the day of your wedding, but when I felt how mournful and desperate you were that I couldn't let you live forever in that sorrow. I looked at Alec and he understood what was happening. I just wanted to save you but everything would be easier if Tamlin thought that I was there to claim our bargain instead that you didn't want to marry him. So, I appeared and… you felt relief. I wanted to kill him, you were so thin, so pale, so sad and so afraid… I claim you with the excuse of the bargain and what I thought as impossible, happened. When I offered you my hand, you looked directly to my eyes with no fear at all… You didn't imagine darkness when you thought about my Court, you only saw stars. You didn't hesitate and took my hand as I winnowed you to the palace on the top of the Court of Nightmares. Then you kneeled and thought that my Court was beautiful… But you were so sad and overwhelmed because you were in an unknown Court and with me… I used sarcasm because you said that you liked and you… For the first time in three months you had smiled… Even if it had been a little grin, you smiled… at me. I had thought that you would love being at the Summer Court due to the sun and the sea but I also wanted to show you Velaris, the rainbow of the artists, the library, the river, the bay… and the stars”.

 

“You begged to take you with me, even if I wanted more than anything… I couldn't, because if you spent two weeks with me and then you returned to Adriata or with Tamlin… I had payed a high price to protected Velaris but even if I wanted you more than my own life… I couldn't risk that you could tell someone what you had seen, who you had met”.

 

“I was shocked when you told me that if you could, you would want to stay indefinitely, you seemed like you trusted me… And when you hit me with that shoe… You grinned again and I wanted to laugh, those three months I had been a ghost, Alec even told me, but seeing you grinning… You made me feel alive again”.

 

“Then I took you to Velaris and I showed you the places that I knew you would love. And when I showed you the sea… You jumped inside and I felt how for the first time in 6 months, you felt free. Then I offered you to fly and when we were in the sky… You confessed that you were afraid of heights but that you also loved them so much… I couldn't flew with my wife because she was scared but you loved it and having you, in my arms, with yours around me, flying over my beloved city…” Rhys smiled a little, remebering the feeling of flying with her for the first time.

 

“While we talked on the roof of the house and you were asking many questions, the Inner Circle was watching us from the House of Wind. They wanted to know how you were, the female… the girl who had married a High Lord, who had defeated Amarantha… and who had made me fall in love again”.

 

“When you met them I was so nervous… And I was afraid of what Alec could think when I introduced you to him. He decided that it was better not to say that he was my son, because if I wanted to be with you but you knew that I had a son much older than you… I had been afraid but the whole night went so well, I learnt more about your past and we told you some parts of ours… But you were talking with us normally, like you knew us, like you trusted us…”.

 

“My heart stopped when you inquired if Alec was my son and when you asked about a mating bond and if we were mates… They had made bets about when would you find out those things and in less than an hour you found out… I couldn't tell you the truth because if you had known that you were the mate of a five-hundred year old male who had a son much older than you… You wouldn't have seen me the same way, you would have rejected the bond and I would… That's why I decided to keep my secrets, why you couldn't know them”.

 

 

“When I realised that we needed the Book of Breathings and that you were the only one who could search it in Adriata… We went to visit the Weaver, you needed to train and that ring was the best option. I was afraid of the danger you would have to face but when you came back, wearing my mother's ring, the one that my wife could never wore, the one destined for my future bride or mate if she was strong or smart enough… You were wearing it, and it fitted so perfectly in your finger… You were my mate and even before you wore that ring, I knew that you could face the Weaver so I gave you my mother's dresses, her wedding or mating gift. They suited you so well…”.

 

“Then we had to visit Adriata for taking the Book, I thought that you wouldn’t want to go back to that palace but you wanted to help, so you agreed to come. When we arrived you kept the secret about Velaris, you managed to lie your family, to protect mine…”.

 

“But when we were in your room, when I had you so close, and you were talking to me, being sincere… When I told you about the stars and the dreams and I looked at your eyes… You were my dream, you had been my dream for over thirty years… I had prayed and wished to know you and there you were, in my arms… In that right moment, I felt that I would never want to separate from you. I had fell in love with you when I hadn't even met you, but in that moment… I knew you, I loved you, you were my mate and our bond was so strong that I couldn't breathe when you looked or smiled at me, and when we slept together…” Rhys let out a sigh and continued.

 

“The we had to visit Hewn City and I was so afraid… We needed the Veritas but I couldn't ask you to go to the place which had inspired your worst nightmares, and I couldn't ask you to act like… Like I did during fifty years. In contrast, you said that you wanted to help, that you… That you trusted me…”.

 

“When we arrived, I felt your fear and I talked to you like you had made me promised. And when you started to… I couldn't believe it, you weren't afraid… I didn't know if you were only acting but I wasn't, I only focused in your confidence, your body opened to me in trust, my lips on your smooth neck, the bond inciting me so hardly that I had to find my strenght to calm my instincts”.

 

“But all we had shared there, with no words needed, even if for you it had been only an act... All disappeared when Keir called you… I had bore being called that just because it meant that my family and my home were safe, bit you… You were so young, sweet, smart and confident… You didn't deserve to be called that word. You only wanted to help, I had been the one who had made you act like that… Keir had earned to pay for what he had said to you… And he did”

 

“Then Starfall came. It was my favorite party of all but… It was my first one in Velaris without Alyx, my first one in fifty years without Amarantha, my first one in fifty years in Velaris with Alec… And my first one ever with you”.

 

“When I saw you flying with my son, wearing my mother's dress... You looked like a star-touched Queen”.

 

“Then we talked, you… supported me, you wanted to dance with me and that song… You sang what I wanted to tell you about the mating bond about…” he let out a sigh and continued, “Then the star hit me and you laughed… A real, funny and passionate laugh”.

 

“You painted me my home in my palm and I remembered how you had told me that Velaris was not your home so I painted the symbol that represented where your heart belonged, but I wanted… needed to know if after all we had been through… If you wanted to be part of my Court, if you wanted… You asked me if I wanted you to do it and I couldn't think about any other thing I wished more…”.

 

“You agreed and then, when you asked me to kiss you… I thought that it had to be a dream, the most wonderful one… And you wanted to continue but you stopped because you didn't want to be selfish, you wanted me to spend my favorite party upstairs, with the family which I had fought so hard for… In that right moment, you filled again my broken heart with an endless love for you”.

 

“But then, the time to go to bed arrived… During all those years with Amarantha, I had the same nightmares the whole night, every night and I couldn't bear that you… saw them after what had happened in that balcony. So even if it was the last thing I wanted, I separated from you and I went to sleep alone”.

 

“Afterwards, when the feared nightmare came… You appeared, trying to calm me, saying that you were sorry, that you… wanted to stay… After all you had seen, you wanted to stay… You might be my mate but I didn't deserve you, you were so nice, kind, honest, funny and sweet with me… I had realized before, but then the reality hit me. You had brought joy to my life, you had taught me not just how to love again but how to live again… The Cauldron brought you to my life, bounding us together… But I didn't deserve you”.

 

“Then, when we cuddled… You confessed that you had waited a long time to be like that, and I… I had waited thirty years, I had been in love with you for over thirty years… I wanted to tell you the truth… But I was selfish again because… I knew that if I told you the truth you would hate me. How could you love a male that hadn't gave you the letters that Tarquin had wrote for you, who had lied about so many things? How could you love a male that couldn't save his wife, who had abandoned his own son? You had been married to the best High Lord ever, the one kind, good and bright like the sun and I am… I am a mess, a disaster. Everyone who is not from Velaris is frightened of me or they hate me. Tarquin was the perfect male, good and kind but I am the dark Lord who kidnapped you from your wedding with Tamlin, the male who killed Amarantha”.

 

“How could you love a male that had… murdered children, who had been with the female that killed you and your husband? How could you love a male that had fell in love with you even before you were born, who was five-hundred years older than you and whose son was much older than you? How could you love a male… that couldn't have more children?” Rhys voice was just a whisper filled with shame in his heart and tears down his face.

 

“If I had told you the truth… That you were bonded to me… I was sure that you would hate me, and all the joy you had gave me… would disappear” his voice broke in the last word due to his sobbs.

 

“I am sorry… I am truly sorry” Rhysand whispered in tears and his mate separated her trembling hands form his, in order to cover her mouth as she cried and sobbed like she hadn't since Tarquin's death.

 

For some minutes none of them talked, Rhys was weeping, ashamed, with his face covered by his hands and Shiera couldn't stop crying.


	3. Chapter 55

When they achieved to calm themselves a bit, Rhys looked at her eyes with his own filled by an indeterminable sadness, with tears falling from them and Shiera was able to look at him without sobbing, her cheeks were still covered by salty teardrops but they didn't spoke yet.

 

Rhys finally found the courage to ask in a broken voice “Aren't you going to say anything?”. With those words filled with so much sorrow, shame and fear… Two more  tears fell from her red cheeks as she lowered her head again to cry more.

 

She kept quiet, trying to calm herself, to stop sobbing and when she finally  was able to lift her gaze… Their bright eyes met and everything that she felt for him and all the feelings that she had felt while hearing his story… Everything was summarized in a whisper “I love you”.

 

Rhys opened his eyes because he was shocked. They both knew what those words meant for her. How could the most simple words express the most difficult feelings? But there they were, and he couldn't believe that after all he had confessed… She was giving him her heart. 

 

“Do… Do you…?” he was able to murmur with astonishment, Shiera gave him a shy but sweet smile and reached for one of the soup cans on the table. She heated it with her flames and poured it into a glass she made. 

 

Rhysand looked astounded at how Shiera offered him the soup. 

 

“Are… Are you sure?” he whispered before approaching his hands to the glass she was holding. What she was doing meant that she accepted the mating bond, that she accepted being his mate… Forever. 

 

Shiera's grin stayed on her face as she didn't hesitate and gave him the soup. Her mate took it in his trembling hands and he drank it, without stop looking at her bright green eyes. 

 

When he finished and put the empty glass on the table, they looked at each other's eyes for a while and Rhys couldn't avoid murmur “You know what…? What you had done with the soup…” but Shiera stopped him kindly “Yes. What I can say is… I am broken and healing, but… Tarquin was right, I have room, and the other half of my shattered heart belongs entirely to you. And I am honored, honored beyond measure to be your mate ”.

 

Rhys looked again directly to her green eyes astounded, “Do you accept… being my mate?” he asked her in a quiet whisper, Shiera gave him a tiny sweet smile as she kneeled before him, caressing his dark hair and his tear-covered cheeks, when their eyes met again she declared “To whatever end”.

 

He heard those words and he didn't think in anything that wasn't her, that wonderful female giving him her shattered heart, accepting being his mate… 

 

Their hearts beated with such a strength that they believed that they wanted to leave their chests. 

 

Rhysand cupped her beautiful face in his hands as they approached their faces and finally their lips joined in a long awaited kiss. 

 

They kissed, first sweetly and then passionately, their tongues dancing in harmony, their hands running through each other's hair, neck, back and waist. 

 

An in that moment, kissing and cuddling Rhys… her mate… Shiera felt something deep in her soul, like a strong and bright thread joining her to the amazing winged male in front of her. Something that she had ever needed even if she hadn't realised before. Their mating bond, making her instincts claiming more, needing all of him. The bond was so strong that she couldn't even breathe due to the desire, the passion…

 

She felt the air leaving her lungs as they kissed and she needed to stop just for a moment, to catch her breath. The young princess placed her right hand over her chest, feeling their powerful bond between them. 

 

Rhys understood what was happening and he also tried to breathe as he passed his arms kindly around her back and their foreheads joined. 

“This feeling… This strength… You have been feeling it everyday that we were together since… the funeral?” she asked shocked, he had controlled, his instincts during all those months… She couldn't even breath and he had acted normal, so she wouldn't feel pressed, so she could heal, even of the bond took control of him… 

 

He let out a laughed and whispered “It hadn't been easy, believe me”. Shiera laughed, a real and bright laugh and then, they joined their lips again with unbridled passion. 

 

* * *

 

Rhys lifted his mate in his arms and Shiera slid her arms around his shoulders, opening her mouth to him, and his tongue slipped in, caressing her own. His mate… His mate.

  
He hardened against Shiera, and she groaned into his mouth. The sound snapped whatever leash he’d had on himself, and Rhysand scooped her up in a smooth movement before laying Shiera flat on the table, amongst and on top of all the paints. He deepened the kiss, and she wrapped her legs around his back, hooking him closer. 

 

He tore his lips from her mouth to her neck, where he dragged his teeth and tongue down her skin as his hands slid under Shiera's jacket and went up, up, to cup her breasts. She arched into the touch, and lifted her arms as he peeled away her leathers in one easy motion. Rhys pulled back to survey his mate, her body naked from the waist up. Paint soaked into her hair, her arms. But all she could think of was his mouth as it lowered to her breast and sucked, his tongue flicking against her nipple.   
  


She plunged her fingers into his hair, and he braced a hand beside her head, smack atop a palette of paint. Rhysand let out a low laugh, and she watched, breathless, as he took that hand and traced a circle around her breast, then lower, until he painted a downward arrow beneath her belly button “Lest you forget where this is going to end,” he grinned.

 

The Princess of Adriata snarled at him, a silent order, and the High Lord laughed again, his mouth finding her other breast. Rhys ground his hips against her, teasing, teasing the female so horribly that she had to touch him, had to just feel more of him. There was paint all over her hands, her arms, but she didn’t care as she grabbed at his clothes. He shifted enough to let Shiera remove them, weapons and leather thudding to the ground, revealing that beautiful tattooed body, the powerful muscles and wings now peeking above them. Her mate, her mate…

 

The first lick of Rhysand’s tongue set the princess on fire. Rhys’ mouth crashed into hers, his bare skin so warm against her own, and she gripped his face, smearing paint there, too. Smearing it in his hair, until great streaks of blue and red and green ran through it. His hands found her waist, and she bucked her hips off the table to help him remove her socks, her leggings.

  
Rhys pulled back again, and she let out a bark of protest, that choked off into a gasp as he gripped her thighs and yanked her to the edge of the table, through paints and brushes and cups of water, hooked her legs over his shoulders to rest on either side of those beautiful wings, and knelt before Shiera. Knelt on those stars and mountains inked on his knees. He would bow for no one and nothing… But his Court, his family, his mate… his equal.

 

His sculpted chest heaved slightly as he ran an eye over her bare body, “You… are so beautiful”. She knew he didn’t just mean the skin and curves and bones but Shiera still smiled, humming.  “I know” she said, lifting her arms above her head, her fingers feeling the smooth wooden table and fresh paint as she arched her back in a slow stretch.

  
Rhys tracked every movement, every flicker of muscle and skin. 

 

When his gaze lingered on her breasts, gleaming with seawater, his expression   
turned ravenous.

  
Then his gaze slid lower, lower… And when it lingered on the apex of her thighs and his eyes glazed, the princess said to him, “Are you going to stand there gawking all night?”.

  
Rhys’ mouth parted slightly, his breathing shallow, his body already showing her precisely where this was going to end.

 

He growled his approval at her moan, her taste, and unleashed himself on her entirely.   
A hand pinning her hips to the table, he worked her in great sweeping strokes. And when his tongue slid inside her, she leached up to grip the edge of the table, to grip the edge of the world that she  was very near to falling off.

  
He licked and kissed his way to the apex of her thighs, just as his fingers replaced where his mouth had been, pumping inside her as he sucked, his teeth scraping ever so slightly… Shiera bowed off the table as her climax shattered through her, splintering her consciousness into a million pieces. 

 

He kept licking her, fingers still moving. “Rhys” she rasped.

  
Now. She wanted him now. 

 

But he remained kneeling, feasting on her, that hand pinning her to the table. She went over the edge again. And only when she was trembling, half sobbing, limp with pleasure, did Rhys rise from the floor.

  
  


Shiera laid her palm flat on him again, she said, “You are mine”.

  
Rhysand's breathing started again, jagged and savage, she flicked open the top button of his pants. 

 

“I’m yours” he ground out, another button popped free, “And you love me” she said, not a question, “Beyond measure” he breathed.

  
She popped the third and final button free, and he let go of her to toss his pants into the sand nearby, taking his undershorts with them. Her mouth went dry as she took in the sight of him, Rhysand had been bred and honed for battle, and every inch of him was pure-blooded warrior.

  
He was… Hers, he was hers.   
  
“You are mine” Rhys breathed, and she felt the claiming in her bones, her soul.

  
“I am yours” she answered.

 

“And you love me”. Not a question at all but yet such hope and quiet joy in his eyes, beneath all that fierceness...

  
“To whatever end” she declared. 

 

For too long, for too long had he been alone and wandering, no longer.

  
He looked her over, naked, covered in paint, his own face and body smeared with it, and give her a slow, satisfied male smile. “You’re mine” he snarled, and hefted her up into his arms. She wanted the wall, she wanted him to just take her against the wall, but he carried her into the room she had saw using and set her down on the bed with heartbreaking gentleness.

  
Wholly naked, she watched as the considerable length of him sprang free again. Her mouth went dry at the sight of it. She wanted him, wanted every glorious inch of him in her, wanted to claw at him until their souls were forged together.

  
Rhysand didn’t say anything as he came over her, wings tucked in tight. He had never gone to bed even with his own wife while his wings were out. But she was his mate. They had flew together, she feared but also loved heights and when Shiera showed him her own wings...

 

He would make her groan, he would touch her wings until she groaned his voice loud enough that everyone even in the Mortal Lands could hear her.

 

And she… She wanted to touch him.

  
The princess leaned up, reaching over his shoulder to caress the powerful curve of his wing. Rhys shuddered, and she watched his cock twitch.

 

“Play later” he ground out and she laughed.   
  
His mouth found hers, the kiss open and deep, a clash of tongues and teeth. He lay her down on the pillows, and she locked her legs around his back, careful of the wings. Though she stopped caring as he nudged at her entrance. And paused.

  
“Play later” she snarled into his mouth. Rhys laughed in a way that skittered along her bones, and slid in. And in. And in.

 

Rhys kissed her again, slow, soft. A hand slid up the plane of her torso while he lowered himself over her, his hips nestling against hers. She gasped a bit at the touch, gasped a bit more as his knuckle grazed the heavy, aching underside of her breast as he leaned down to kiss the other.

  
His teeth grazed over her nipple, and her eyes drifted closed, a moan slipping out of her.

  
Oh, gods. Oh, burning, rutting gods. The illyrian male knew what he was doing; he  really gods-damned did.

 

His tongue flicked against her nipple, and her head tipped back, her fingers digging into his shoulders, urging him to take more, take harder. He growled his approval, her breast still in his mouth, on his tongue, his hand making lazy strokes from her ribs down her waist, down her thighs, then back up. 

 

She arched in silent demand.

  
A phantom touch, like a star-kissed wind given form, flicked over her paint-covered breast.

 

“You’re magnificent, Shiera darling” he murmured onto her lips, his tongue sliding into her mouth.

 

She could hardly breathe, hardly think beyond where their bodies were joined. He stilled inside her, letting Shiera adjust, and she opened her eyes to find him staring down at her. 

 

“Say it again” he murmured. She knew what he meant.

  
“You’re mine” she breathed. Rhys pulled out slightly and thrust back in slow. So torturously slow.

  
“You’re mine” she gasped out. Again, he pulled out, then thrust in.

  
“You’re mine”. Faster, deeper this time.

  
Again, she felt it, the bond between them, like an unbreakable chain, like a non dimmable ray of light. With each pounding stroke, the bond glowed clearer and brighter and stronger. 

 

“You’re mine” she whispered, dragging her hands through his hair, down his back, across his wings.

  
Her friend through many dangers. Her lover who had healed my broken and weary soul. Her mate who had waited for her against all hope, despite all odds, during thirty years.

  
She moved her hips in time with his. He kissed her over and over, and both of their faces turned damp. Every inch of the princess burned and tightened, and her control slipped entirely as he whispered, “I love you”.

 

She might have been crying, or it might have been his tears on her face, turning to steam amid her flames. 

  
Release tore through her body, and he pounded into her , hard and fast, drawing out her pleasure until she felt and saw and smelled that bond between them, until their scents merged, and she was his and he was hers, and they were the beginning and middle and end. They were a song that had been sung from the very first ember of light in the world.

 

She moved her hands, needing to touch each inch of his muscled body, Rhysand groaned again, pushing into her hand.  She pulled her mouth from his, staring into those violet eyes as she slid her hand along him. He lowered his head, not to kiss her, but to watch where she stroked him.

 

A roaring wind full of stars blasted around them and it was her turn to huff a laugh. 

 

But Rhysand gripped her wrist, drawing her hand away, she opened her mouth in protest, wanting to touch more, taste more.  “Let me...” Rhys growled onto the painted skin between her breasts, “Let me touch you”. 

 

His voice trembled enough that Shiera lifted his chin with her thumb and forefinger, a flicker of fear and relief shone beneath the glazed lust. As if doing this, touching her, was as much to remind him that she had made it today, that she was safe. 

 

She leaned up, brushing her mouth against his, “Do your worst, my mate”.

  
Rhysand's smile was nothing short of wicked as he pulled away to run a broad hand from her throat down to the juncture of her thighs. 

 

She shuddered at the sheer possession in the touch, her breath coming in tight pants as he gripped either thigh and spread her legs, baring her fully for him.

 

Shiera couldn’t take her eyes from his black shining with the lazy sunlight, from the hands holding her wide for him as his head dipped between her legs.

  
And as Rhys tasted her on that table, as he laughed against her painted skin while her hoarse cries of his name shattered across paintings and cans of soup, the princess let go of all pretense at reason.

  
She moved, hips undulating, begging him to go, go, go. So Rhysand did, sliding a finger into her as his tongue flicked that one spot, and oh, gods, she was going to explode into starfire…

  
“Fireheart” he growled in a plea.

  
“Please” she moaned, “Please”.

  
The word was his undoing,  Rhysand rose over her again, and she let out a sound that might have been a whimper, might have been his name. Then Rhys had a hand braced in the sand beside her head, fingers twinning in her hair, covered in bright paint, while the other guided himself into her. 

 

At the first nudge of him, she forgot her own name and as he slid in with gentle, rolling thrusts, filling her inch by inch, he forgot that he was a High Lord and that he had a   
separate body and a Court and a world to look after.

 

She dragged her hands down his powerful, muscled back, over scars from battles and terrors long since past.  And as his thrusts turned deeper, she dug in her fingers, dragging her nails across his back, claiming him, marking him.

 

“You once told me that you don’t bite the females of other males” Shiera breathed. 

 

Rhysand stiffened a bit, but she went on coyly, “Does that mean… you’ll bite your own female, then?”.

  
Understanding flashed in those purple eyes as he rose his head from her neck to study the spot where those canines had once pierced her skin. 

 

“That was the first time I really lost control around you, you know. I wanted to chuck you off a cliff, yet I bit you before I knew what I was doing but my body knew, my magic knew. And you tasted…” Rhys loosed a jagged breath.

 

“So good… I hated me for it, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I’d wake up at night with that taste on my tongue… wake up thinking about your foul, beautiful mouth”.

 

He traced his thumb over her lips, “You don’t want to know the depraved things I’ve thought about this mouth”.

  
“Hmmm, likewise, but you didn’t answer my question” Shiera said, even as her toes curled in the paint covering the silks sheets.

  
“Yes” the male said thickly, “Some males enjoy doing it. To mark territory, for pleasure…”.

  
“Do females bite males?” she inquired.

  
He began to harden again inside her as the question lingered. Oh, gods… Fae lovers. Everyone should be so damn lucky to have one. 

 

Rhys rasped, “Do you want to bite me?”, Shiera eyed his throat, his glorious body, and the face she had once so fiercely hated. “Am I limited to your neck?” she purred, Rhys' eyes flared, and his answering thrust was answer enough.

  
They moved together, undulating like the sea before them, and when Rhysand roared her name again into the star-flecked black, Shiera hoped the gods themselves heard it and gave them the happiness that they both deserved.

 

Shiera wrapped her legs around his waist, kissed his neck, then licked his ear the way he’d nibbled hers, and he was buried in her again. His hips slammed home at the blood she drew, and she arched, baring her throat to him. For him, only him.

 

She knew why he needed the contact, why he’d needed to taste her on his tongue, and then with the rest of his body. 

 

She’d needed the same, he still needed it. 

  
Rhys’ magic went wild, though his mouth on her neck was so careful, even as his canines dragged along her skin. And at the touch of those lethal teeth against her, the death that hovered nearby and the hands that would always be gentle with her, always love her.

 

“My mate, my love, my heart…”.

  
Release blasted through her like wildfire and though she could not remember her name, she remembered Rhysand's as she cried it while he kept moving, wringing every last ounce of pleasure from her. 

 

Rhys’ own release barreled through him at the sight of it, and he groaned her name so that she remembered it at last, lightning joining wind and shadows over the paints. 

 

She was trembling, and so was Rhysand as he remained in her, he buried his face in the crook of her neck and shoulder, his uneven breath warming her skin. 

 

She dragged her hands down his powerful, muscled back, over scars from battles and terrors long since past.  “I never...” she tried, voice hoarse, “I didn’t know it could be…”.

  
She ran her fingers down his scarred back, over and over.

 

“I know” he breathed, “I know”.

  
Then Rhys roared as he came, slamming in to the hilt. Outside, the mountains trembled, the remaining snow rushing from them in a cascade of glittering white, only to be swallowed up by the waiting night below.

  
Silence fell, interrupted only by their panting breaths.

  
She took his paint-smeared face between her own colorful hands and made him look at her.  His eyes were radiant like the stars she had painted once, long ago. And she smiled at Rhys as she let that mating bond shine clear and luminous between them.


	4. The frenzy

When they’d finished after that first time, he’d been left reeling, to pull his sanity back together after the joining that had… unleashed him. Broken and remade him.

 

His magic had been a song, and she had been… He’d never had anything like her. Everything he’d given her, she’d given right back to him.

 

And when she had bit him during that second coupling in the bed… His magic had left six nearby paintings in splinters as he’d climaxed hard enough that he thought his body would shatter.

 

Rhys didn’t know how long they lay there, lazily touching each other, as if they might indeed have all the time in the world.

  
“I think I fell in love again with you” Rhys murmured, stroking a finger down my arm, “the moment I realized you were cleaving those bones to make a trap for the Middengard Wyrm. Or maybe the moment you flipped me off for mocking you. It reminded me so much of Cassian. For the first time in decades, I wanted to laugh”.

  
“You fell in love with me because I reminded you of your friend?” she giggled but both knew when he had fell in love.

  
He flicked her nose. “I fell in love with you, smartass, because you loved my beloved stars, because you were one of us, because you weren’t afraid of me, and you decided to end your spectacular victory by throwing that piece of bone at Amarantha like a javelin. I felt Cassian’s spirit beside me in that moment, and could have sworn I heard him say, ‘If you don’t marry her, you stupid prick, I will’ ”.

 

Shiera  huffed a laugh, sliding my paint-covered hand over his tattooed chest. Paint… They were both covered in it. So was the bed.

  
Rhys followed her eyes and gave her a grin that was positively wicked. “How convenient that the bathtub is large enough for two”. Her eyes shone with an evil bright as she gave him a mischievous smirk. 

  
His blood heated and she rose from the bed only to have him move faster, scooping her up in his arms. He was splattered with paint, his hair crusted with it, and his poor, beautiful wings… Those were my handprints on them. Indeed, her own black wings were also covered by his huge handprints.

 

Naked, he carried her into the bath, where the water was already running, the magic of this cabin acting on their behalf. He strode down the steps into the water, his hiss of pleasure a brush of air against her ear. And she might have moaned a little herself when the hot water hit me as he sat them both down in the tub.

  
A basket of soaps and oils appeared along the stone rim, and she pushed off him to sink further beneath the surface. The steam wafted between them, and Rhys picked up a bar of that pine tar-smelling soap and handed it to her, then passed a washrag. “Someone, it seems, got my wings dirty” he purred.

  
Her face heated, but her gut tightened. Illyrian males and their wings… so sensitive.

  
She twirled her finger to motion him to turn around. He obeyed, spreading those magnificent wings enough for her to find the paint stains. Carefully, so carefully, She soaped up the washcloth and began wiping the red and blue and purple away.   
The candlelight danced over his countless, faint scars, nearly invisible save for harder bits of membrane. He shuddered with each pass, hands braced on the lip of the tub. Shiera peeked over his shoulder to see the evidence of that sensitivity, and purred “At least the rumors about wingspan correlating with the size of other parts were right”.

  
His back muscles tensed as he choked out a laugh. “Such a dirty, wicked mouth”. She thought of all the places she wanted to put that mouth and blushed a bit.

  
“I think I was falling in love with you for awhile” she said, the words barely audible over the trickle of water as she washed his beautiful wings, pressing her lips on his back, “But I knew on before going to Adriata, or came close to knowing and was so scared of it that I didn’t want to look closer. I was a coward. Every night that we slept together, when we were in the balcony of the palace… Then we went to Hewn City and… I let go myself completely, at first I didn’t know how I found the confidence but now I understand that maybe it was the mating bond. And then in Starfall… Before going to the House of Wind I realized that I was in love with you, so in love that… It hurt”. She placed a hand on her chest, remembering her pain.

 

“But I was so afraid… I was in love. I told you that saying those words for me is really important and… I was in love but Tarquin had been… murdered… not even a year… He had told me to find love again and there I was, in love with you but… You were a High Lord, you had a family, a wonderful Court and… What I was? Only a young girl that you had saved… You always cared about me but… It was impossible that you loved me. How… How you could be with me?”. 

 

Shiera rested her forehead on his spine.

 

“But all those nights together… I was dying to get closer but I thought you didn’t feel the same. But now… I wish I hadn’t avoid what I felt… I’m so sorry, Rhys…” she whispered with regret in her heart.

  
“You had perfectly good reasons to avoid it”.

  
“No, I didn’t. Tarquin…”, she sighed, unable to talk about him, But it had nothing to do with you, Rhys. Nothing to do with you. I was never afraid of the consequences of being with you. Even if every assassin in the world hunts us… It’s worth it. You are worth it”.

  
His head dipped a bit and he said hoarsely, “Thank you”. Her heart broke for him again, for the years he had spent thinking the opposite. She kissed his bare neck, and he reached back to drag a finger down her cheek.

 

Then he made her turn as he stared her beautiful illyrian wings. Shiera grabbed the edge of the bath as her entire body trembled due to the caresses of the sponge he used to wash her wings. “Oh, gods. Oh, gods. Oh, gods”. “Gods, Shiera darling?” he purred to her ear, “Yes” she let out, “Gods. Of all religions. I need them all now”.

 

* * *

 

Her mate finished the wings and she turned to face him. “What now?”. Wordlessly, he   
turned her again, rubbing down her back, scrubbing lightly with the cloth.

  
“It’s up to you” Rhys said, “We can go back to Velaris and have the bond verified by a priestess… No one like Ianthe, I promise, and be declared officially Mated. We could have a small party to celebrate, dinner with our… cohorts. Unless you’d rather have a large party”.

His strong hands kneaded muscles that were tight and aching in her back, and she groaned again. “We could also go before a priestess and be declared husband and wife as well as mates, but I think none of us…”, “I couldn’t agree more” she let out. 

None of them were ready or wanted to get married again. Alyx was her wife as Tarquin was her husband. They wanted that to stay like that forever. They were mates and that was more than they could express.

  
His thumbs massaged the column of her spine. “Or if you want to wait, we can do none of those things. We are mated, whether it’s shouted across the world or not. There’s no rush to decide” he whispered softly but with confidence in his voice.

She turned. “I was asking about Jurian, the king, the queens, and the Cauldron, but I’m glad to know I have so many options where our relationship stands. And that you’ll do whatever I want. I must have you wrapped completely around my finger” she purred and his eyes danced with feline amusement. “Cruel, beautiful thing”.

She laughed and his hands slid to grip her waist and tug her to him. He sat down on the   
built-in bench of the tub, and she straddled him, idly stroking his muscled arms. 

“What do you want from me?” she inquired softly. "I want to lie beside you and know the weight of your dreams" he said, brushing his lips against her knuckles, "I want to share whole worlds with you and write your name in the stars." He moved closer and a chorus of songbirds twittered silver melodies. "I want to measure eternity with your laughter."

Now, he stood inches from her; his rough hands encircled her waist. "Be my queen and I promise you a life where you will never be bored. I promise you more power than a hundred kings. And I promise you that we will always be equals, Shiera darling. My mate, my wonderful, wonderful mate”.

The light in those eyes, the quiet joy… They knocked the breath from her. A future, they would have a future together. She would have a future. A life.

  
His smile faded into something awed, something… reverent, and she reached out to cup his face in her hands. To find my skin glowing.   
  


Faintly, as if some inner light shone beneath her skin, leaking out into the world. Warm and white light, like the sun, like a star. Those wonder-filled eyes met hers, and Rhys ran a finger down her arm. “Well, at least now I can gloat that I literally make my mate glow with happiness”.

  
The princess laughed, and the glow flared a little brighter. He leaned in, kissing her softly, and she melted for him, wrapping her arms around his neck. He was rock-hard against her, pushing against where she sat poised right above him. All it would take one smooth motion and he had be inside her… But Rhys stood from the water, both of them dripping wet, and she hooked my legs around him as he walked them back into the bedroom. 

The sheets had been changed by the domestic magic of the house, and they were warm and smooth against my naked body as he set me down and stared at me. Shining. She was shining bright and pure as a star. 

“Day Court?” she purred. “I don’t care” he said roughly, and removed the glamour from himself. It was a small magic, he had once told her, to keep the damper on who he was, what his power looked like. As the full majesty of him was unleashed, he filled the room, the world, her soul, with glittering ebony power. 

Stars and wind and shadows; peace and dreams and the honed edge of nightmares. Darkness rippled from him like tendrils of steam as he reached out a hand and laid it flat against the glowing skin of her stomach.

That hand of night splayed, the light leaking through the wafting shadows, and she hoisted herself up on her elbows to kiss him.

  
Smoke and mist and dew.

  
Shiera moaned at the taste of him, and he opened his mouth for her, letting her brush her tongue against his, scrape it against his teeth. Everything he was had been laid before her, one final question.

  
She wanted it all.

  
She gripped his shoulders, guiding him onto the bed. And when he lay flat on his back, she saw the flash of protest at the pinned wings. But she crooned, “Illyrian baby” and ran her hands down his muscled abdomen… farther. 

He stopped objecting.

  
He was enormous in her small hand, so hard, yet so silken that she  just ran a finger down him in wonder. He hissed, cock twitching as she brushed her thumb over the tip. She smirked as she did it again. He reached for her, but she froze him with a look. 

“My turn” she  told him. Rhys gave her a lazy, male smile before he settled back, tucking a hand behind his head. Waiting.

  
Cocky bastard.

  
So she leaned down and put her mouth on him. He jerked at the contact with a barked, “Shit” and she laughed around him, even as she took him deeper into her mouth.

  
His hands were now fisted in the sheets, white-knuckled as she slid her tongue over him, grazing slightly with her teeth. 

His groan was fire to her blood.

  
Honestly, Shiera was surprised he waited the full minute before interrupting her. Pouncing was a better word for what Rhys did.

  
One second, he was in her mouth, her tongue flicking over the broad head of him; the next, his hands were on her waist and she was being flipped onto her front. He nudged her legs apart with his knees, spreading her as he gripped her hips, tugging them up, up before he sheathed himself deep in her with a single stroke.

  
She moaned into the pillow at every glorious inch of him, rising onto her forearms as her fingers grappled into the sheets. Rhys pulled out and plunged back in, eternity exploding around her in that instant, and she thought she  might break apart from not being able to get enough of him.

  
“Look at you” he murmured as he moved in her, and kissed the length of her spine. She managed to rise up enough to see where they were joined, to see the sunlight shimmer off her against the rippling night of him, merging and blending, enriching. And the sight of it wrecked her so thoroughly that she climaxed with his name on her lips.

  
Rhys hauled her up against him, one hand cupping her breast as the other rolled and stroked that bundle of nerves between her legs, and she couldn’t tell where one climax ended and the second began as he thrust in again, and again, his lips on her neck, on her ear.

  
She could die from this, Shiera decided. From wanting him, from the pleasure of being with him.

  
Rhys twisted them, pulling out only long enough to lie on his back and haul her over him.   
There was a glimmer in the darkness, a flash of lingering pain, a scar. And she understood why he wanted her like this, wanted to end it like this, with her astride him.

  
It broke her heart. 

She leaned forward to kiss him, softly, tenderly.

  
As their mouths met, she slid onto him, the fit so much deeper, and he murmured her name into her mouth. Shiera kissed him again and again, and rode him gently. Later… there would be other times to go hard and fast. But right now… She wouldn’t think of why this position was one he wanted to end in, to have her banish the stained dark with the light. But she would glow, for him, she would glow. For their future, Shiera would glow.

  
So she sat up, hands braced on his broad chest, and unleashed that light in her, letting it drive out the darkness of what had been done to him, her mate, her friend.

  
Rhys barked her name, thrusting his hips up. Stars wheeled as he slammed deep. 

She thought the light pouring out of her might have been starlight, or maybe her own vision fractured as release barreled into her again and Rhys found his, gasping her name over and over as he spilled himself in her .

When they were done, Shiera remained atop him, fingertips digging into his chest, and marveled at him. At them.

  
He tugged on her wet hair. “We’ll have to find a way to put a damper on that light” he purred.   
“I can keep the shadows hidden easily enough”. 

“Ah, but you only lose control of those when you’re pissed. And since I have every intention of making you as happy as a person can be… I have a feeling we’ll need to learn to control that wondrous glow”. “Always thinking; always calculating”.

  
Rhys kissed the corner of her mouth. “You have no idea how many things I’ve thought up when it comes to you”.

  
“I remember mention of a wall” she purred. His laugh was a sensual promise. “Next time, fireheart, I’ll fuck you against the wall”. “Hard enough to make the pictures fall off” Shiera spoke and Rhys barked a laugh. 

“Show me again what you can do with that wicked mouth” she purred and he gave her a shameless grin.

* * *

 

Rhysand was… ravenous. Shiera got perhaps an hour total of sleep that night, though she supposed she was to equally share the blame.

  
The princess couldn’t stop, couldn’t get enough of the taste of him in her mouth, the feel of him inside of her .

  
More, more, more… Until she thought she might burst out of her skin from pleasure.

  
“It’s normal” Rhys said around a mouthful of bread as they sat at the table for breakfast. They had barely made it into the kitchen. He had taken one step out of bed, giving her a full view of his glorious wings, muscled back, and that beautiful backside, and she had leaped on him. They had tumbled to the floor and he had shredded the pretty little area rug beneath his talons as she rode him.

  
“What’s normal?” Shiera inquired quietly. She could barely look at him without wanting to combust.

  
“The… frenzy” he said carefully, as if fearful the wrong word might send them both hurtling for each other before they could get sustenance into their bodies. “When a couple accepts the mating bond, it’s… overwhelming. Again, harkening back to the beasts we once were. Probably something about ensuring the female was impregnated.” 

Her heart paused at that. 

“Some couples don’t leave the house for a week. Males get so volatile that it can be dangerous for them to be in public, anyway. I’ve seen males of reason and education shatter a room because another male looked too long in their mate’s direction, too soon after they’d been mated”.

She hissed out a breath, amazed that he had managed to contend himself for a whole year...

“I’d like to believe I have more restraint than the average male, but… Be patient with me, Shiera darling, if I’m a little on edge”.

  
That he’d admit that much… “You don’t want to leave this house”. “I want to stay in that bedroom and fuck you until we’re both hoarse”.


	5. Painting

“So… This is the cabin where you came after the war?” Shiera asked quietly. “We got sent up here for ‘reflection’ when we were younger. I used to smuggle in books and booze for Mor”. “It’s perfect” she said tightly. 

 

Rhys waved a hand, and a fire sprang to life in the hearth, heat flooding the room. Food landed on the counters of the kitchen, and something in the pipes groaned. 

 

“No need for firewood” he explained, “It’ll burn until we leave”. “Yes… About that… I… I…” she began worried and he cupped her beautiful face, “Don’t be afraid about anything. Just say it”.

 

The princess took a deep breath and said “I know that we have to visit the Queens and we will have to deal with the Cauldron and the King but… But you said that a mated couple would stay a whole week here and… I… Obviously I know that we can’t stay that long but…”, she paused and he demanded “Say it”.

 

“Could… Could we stay… two days? I mean, stay tomorrow here and the next day we wake up early and then we leave in the morning”.

 

Rhys eyes flickered as his smile grew. “Cauldron… I love you. I love you and I love your wonderful brain, Shiera darling” he declared and their lips joined again as they both felt a huge relief in their chests.

 

* * *

 

Hours later Rhysand leaded her to a cupboard and showed her… Half a dozen cans of paint. Paper, and a few canvases. Brushes, old and flecked with paint from lazy hands. Pastels and watercolors, what looked to be charcoal for sketching, but… Shiera stared at the paint, the brushes.

 

She turned her face to him, a silent question and he grinned at his sweet mate. Rhys dropped a kiss on her cheek, “It’s all yours” he purred and her smile was more brighter than all the stars together.

  
Her hands were trembling with the cold as she reached for the paint and pried open the lid.

Still fresh. Probably from the magic preserving this place. She peered into the dark, gleaming interior of the can she had opened: blue.

 

She painted all day while Rhysand stared at her, like he was watching the most beautiful dawn.

 

She made breaks when they ate, when they returned to bed and when their bodies were underwater in the deep, sunken tub in the floor of the mountain cabin, large enough to accommodate illyrian wings. She filled it with water near-scalding, not caring how the magic of this house operated, only that it worked. Hissing and wincing, they climbed in and they released their desire.

  
Shiera painted nearly every surface in the main room. And not with just broad swaths of color, but with decorations, little images. Some were basic: clusters of icicles drooping down the sides of the threshold. They melted into the first shoots of spring, then burst into full blooms of summer, before brightening and deepening into fall leaves. She had painted a ring of flowers round the card table by the window; leaves and crackling flames around the dining table.

  
But in between the intricate decorations, Shiera had painted them. Bits and pieces of Mor, Cassian, Azriel, Amren…   Alec and Rhys.

 

Rhys even managed to paint some rudimentary stick figures on the wall beside the storeroom door. Three females with absurdly long, flowing hair; and four winged males, who he somehow managed to make look puffed up on their own sense of importance.

  
Shiera laughed every time she saw it.

 

At one point, his eyes fell on the open threshold to the bedroom hallway, and he grimaced. 

“Why are Amren’s eyes there?”. Indeed, right above the door, in the center of the archway, she had painted a pair of glowing silver eyes. “Because she’s always watching.”

 

“You do know that one of them is going to paint a moustache under th eyes of whoever pisses them off that day” he commented and she snorted. “Paint Mor’s eyes next to Amren’s. So the males of this family will know they are both watching us the next time we come up here to get drunk for a week straight”

  
“You do that?” she laughed. “We used to”. Before Amarantha. “Every autumn, the three of us would lock ourselves in this house for five days and drink and drink and hunt and hunt, and we would come back to Velaris looking halfway to death but grinning like fools. It will warm Mor’s heart to know that from now on, we will have to do it with her and Amren staring at us”.

  
A smile tugged on her lips. “Who does this paint belong to?”. “Amren” Rhys replied, rolling his eyes. “We were all here one summer, and she wanted to teach herself to paint. She did it for about two days before she got bored and decided to start hunting poor creatures instead”.

 

Afterwards, all of their eyes were painted. Mor, Amren, Cassian, Azriel, Alec, Rhys and… He had insisted and she painted her green eyes next to his violet skies.

 

But when she finished and stared at the painting… Rhys couldn't help but look at the blue eyes that were next to his. Shiera wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her head on his chest as he held her close. None of them said a single word for a while. She knew that they were his son’s eyes but also his wife’s. And when he looked at them he wished he could remember her face, only for a moment.

 

* * *

 

“There is something that you hadn’t said anything about it” Rhys spoke quietly,  “About… pregnancy” he said and might as well have thrown a bucket of ice over both of them.

 

“You know I can’t…” he began but his voice broke, completely ashamed and her heart broke to because of the sorrow attached to each word.   
  
“It isn’t your fault, Rhys. Children are rare, yes. So rare, and so precious. But I don’t want you to have them unless you want to… unless we both want to. And right now, with this war coming, with Hybern… I’ll admit that I’m terrified at the thought of my being pregnant with so many enemies around us”.

  
“I would be happy beyond measure, though, if you one day did honor me with children. To share that with you. Not now because I am so  young but maybe that tonic loses its effect and you can be able to have children again in twenty, fifty or hundred years. But I want to live first, with you. I want to see things and have adventures. I want to learn what it is to be immortal, to be your mate, to be part of your family. And I selfishly want to have you all to myself for all the time that we can get. Well, not entirely for myself because you already have Alec and I know and understand that you love him more than anything. And Rhys, trust me, I would be grateful if I get you for the rest of eternity. If we have to spend eternity right like this I will be grateful, grateful beyond measure”.

 

She cupped his beautiful face in her small  hands and claimed his lips in a sweet but passionate kiss. He felt his gilt but her words had make him feel a bit of relief, yet he knew he didn’t deserve that wonderful and understanding princess.

“Don’t you dare to think that again” she warned him, “You deserve me. You deserve all the happiness that this world can give you”.

 

He bowed his head a bit, knowing that she had read his thoughts.  And when he saw her brow raising the High Lord finally nodded and she gave him a sweet smile.

  
Shiera made it to the edge of the bath before Rhys caught her, carried her into the water, and made love to her, slow and deep, amid the billowing steam.   
  



	6. Welcome to the family

The morning arrived but they didn't want to leave the bed or that cabin, what they had shared between those walls… Rhys couldn't find the words for what she had done, what she had said, and because she had convinced him to stay a bit more in that cabin and those three days… They had been the happiest in fifty years.

 

They stayed in the warm bed until taking the last bath in that wonderful cabin, then they got dressed and before leaving they looked again at all the rooms where they has shared their love, both pair of eyes went directly to the table covered in paint and then their gazes went back to each other's eyes as they remembered what had happened with their wings and the colorful paints.

 

“Are you ready, Shiera darling?” Rhysand purred but Shiera seemed nervous, she was hitting her lower lip, he noticed and asked worried “What happens? Are you okay?”, their eyes met again and she confessed “Is just… I'm nervous… When we arrive at the camp… Your family will be there and they must think that I'm horrible because I didn't realise that you were my mate and… It's worse because I fell in love with you months ago but I didn't… I didn't have the courage to face it…”.

 

Shiera sighed ashamed but he cupped her face and kissed her soft lips “You are trying to say that you are more nervous of facing my family than when you faced the Wyrm?” Rhys laughed.

 

“You don't have to worry about anything… You discovered that I was your mate during the first meeting with them. And about the courage… You had courage to go Under the Mountain, face Amarantha, trust me, come to this Court, meet my Inner Circle, face the Weaver and the Court of Nightmares… You are brave, you have always been. And about facing your feelings… You had suffered so much… You had all the right to keep your feelings you needed and you still need to heal this sweet and shattered heart of yours“ Rhys whispered while dropping a kiss on her breast.

 

Then he lifted his gaze from her chest so he could look at her bright green eyes and she was able to nod, but no words were needed as he hugged Rhysand with strength as he pulled her even closer and kissed her dark braided hair.

 

After staying cuddling for a while, they separated grinning and Rhys offered his hand to winnow them back to the camps but his mate started “Hmm… Rhys… Your wings… Are they...?” Shiera barely said and he giggled again, “Do you want to fly with me, Shiera darling?” he purred and she gave him a sweet smirk “I would want to… But if your wings are not strong enough yet… I understand…” she began again but in a moment Rhys lifted her in his arms, grinning “Hold on” he purred with a wicked smirk as they jumped into the opened blue sky as the princess laughed again while wrapping her hands around his neck and kissed him with passion.

 

They flew through snow-covered forests and mountains, when finally  the illyrian camp was seen, the Inner Circle began to approach where the couple would land.

 

Shiera felt her heart beating faster and Rhys noticed it, “Don’t worry…” the winged male murmured sweetly while kissing her forehead, she lifted her head and grinned to him gratefully.

 

They just appeared in the mud outside the little house when Cassian drawled from behind them, “Well, it’s about time”.

  
The savage, wild snarl that ripped out of Rhys was like nothing Shiera had heard, and she gripped his arm as he whirled on Cassian.   


“Apparently,  any attempt to make theoretical calculations with you is useless” Mor laughed but Shiera seemed surprised, “What do you mean?”. “We had bet that Rhys wouldn't leave that cabin in a whole week” Cassian explained and Rhys gave him a dark laugh, “It wasn't me the one who chose to stay in that cabin” he replied with a smirk.

 

Cassian looked at him and laughed but the illyrian warriors in the camp began shooting into the sky, hauling women and children with them. “Hard ride?”. Cassian tied back his dark hair with a worn strap of leather, preternatural quiet now leaked from Rhys where the snarl had erupted a moment before. And rather than see him turn the camp to rubble Shiera said “When he bashes your teeth in, Cassian, don’t come crying”.

  
Cassian crossed his arms with a wicked grin, “Mating bond chafing a bit, Rhys?”. Rhys said nothing and Cassian snickered, “Shiera doesn’t look too tired. Maybe she could give me a ride...”.

 

Rhys exploded, wings and muscles and snapping teeth, and they were rolling through the mud, fists flying. Cassian had known exactly what he was saying and doing, Shiera realized as he kicked Rhys off him, as Rhys didn’t touch that power that could have flattened those mountains. He’d seen the edge in Rhys’s eyes and known he had to dull it before we could go any further. Rhys had known, too. Which was why they had winnowed there first and not Velaris.

  
They were a sight to behold, two Illyrian males fighting in the mud and stones, panting and spitting blood, none of the other illyrians dared land.Nor would they, she realized, until Rhys had worked off his temper… or left the camp entirely.

 

If the average male needed a week to adjust… What was required of Rhysand? A month? Two? A year?

  
Cassian laughed as Rhys slammed a fist into his face, blood spraying. Cassian slung one right back at him, and Shiera cringed as Rhys’s head knocked to the side.

 

She had seen Rhys fight before, controlled and elegant, and she had seen him mad, but never so… feral.

  
“They’ll be at it for a while” Mor said getting closer to her as the green-eyed female gave her a shy smirk.  “Welcome to the family, Shiera” the golden female whispered as she hugged the princess and Shiera planted a grateful kiss on her cheek.


	7. Alec

Then she went inside the cabin with Azriel as Alec approached and Shiera felt that all the relief that Mor's words had gave her, it all disappeared when she saw… her mate's son. 

 

She didn't know what to do, what to say. Her heart was beating so fast that she thought that even Alec could listen it. 

 

He stopped to walk as he asked with fear “He… Has he told you…?”, Shiera nearly laughed but instead she was able to contain herself and she gave him a sweet smile as she nodded.

 

“And…”, “And I am still processing it” she admitted, “It’s… It’s so much information. But somehow… Everything makes sense now. Why he didn't want to tell me about your family and… Oh, but I was right that first night that I met you”.

 

“Indeed. About the mating bond and about me. If you had seen our faces… We all had made bets about when you would find out both things. Thanks to you we all lost but, you made Mor extremely happy because she was the one whose prediction was closer to when it happened and she won all our money”.

 

Shiera gave him a smirk, “You made bets about the cabin, you bet about when I would find out… You really like betting, right?”, “Indeed… We are immortal so we have to find a way to be busy. And for something interesting that has happened in fifty years…”. His gaze went slowly to his father.

 

The smile on her face faded instantly, “Being fifty years without him… and after losing your mother… I’m sorry… I am so, so sorry” she spoke quietly. “I can’t imagine how.. ho these past years should have been… I’m so sorry”.

 

“I grew up looking forward but also fearing the day that he would return. I thought that he didn’t know about what have happened to my mother and I was so afraid to tell him… I… I didn’t know how he would react”.

 

Alec stayed quiet for a moment but then he carried on. “I spent the next years training, getting taller and stronger. I needed Cass and Az to help me to become a warrior, a true warrior, just like them. I had grew up with stories about the war, about they had all fought.I listened to ech story about my father, he was the most powerful High Lord in history and if I was his heir… I feared that if he returned and I was not what he expected…”.

 

Shiera turned her head to face him. “Don’t you dare to tell me that you thought that if you weren’t a warrior he wouldn’t love you the same, that he wouldn’t be proud”. Alec gave her a look that said otherwise. 

 

“I was young and I… Anyway, when he returned… I hadn’t realized that the last time we had saw each other I was eight, I was a child… He… He told me that he had thought that he would never see me again but I knew that we would. Somewhere deep in me had known that since the they that… The thought that he would come back was the only thing that gave me hope during all those years”.

 

“And after all he had been through… He had returned, he was finally at home but… Somehow, he wasn’t. He blamed himself because my mother’s death, he thought that I would hate him for that, for being away, trapped for over fifty years, for… For falling in love again”.

 

Her heart stopped.

 

“He thought that I would blame him, hate him for falling in love…”, Alec shook his head like he couldn´t believe it yet. “It’s true that I was shocked, surprised at first because… He had only been with my mother but what shocked me more was the fact that you had been married and… you were sixteen. Sixteen. I couldn’t imagine how you had beaten the Wyrm, beaten Amarantha and give your life with only sixteen years…”.

 

“But I wasn’t angry at all with him for loving you. Quite the opposite, actually. After Amarantha…  “When he came back, after Amarantha, he was a ghost. He pretended he wasn’t, but he was. You made him come alive again. He felt guilty, he thought I would hate him and you… He was so worried about you… But when we talked about you was the few moments that he really smiled. He was so worried about your wedding with Tamlin because everyday, he felt your sorrow, your pain, your desperation… When you came here he was so relieved that you were sade but also worried about how you would feel here… with us”.

 

“He was concerned, he feared when we met. His mate and his son. And when you asked about the mating bond and if I was his son… We all panicked” he laughed, “We were all amazed. You were so young, so curious and yet… so broken. Both of you were broken inside but during that dinner… He made you smile and you made him laugh. Laugh… For the first time in three months I saw my father truly , not just the ghost he had been”.

 

The male paused for a moment.

 

“We started to get along, you trusted us, treated us like friends. But whenever I saw how you looked to each other… I knew that with some time you would fell in love with him, because you looked at him like… Or maybe with some time you would accept your feelings if you had already fell in love with him. Maybe you would accept the mating bond, after all. He thought that you would never accept him, in contrast I knew you would but I feared… One thing is the mating bond and to be with him. Other thing is to discover and then deal with his son that is fifty-eight years old”.

 

“But… We get along… Don’t we?” Shiera asked and he nodded, “That’s the problem. We got along really well but I feared that after he told you about me… That it wouldn’t be the same. That you would find all of this weird and…”.

 

“How would it be the same?”, she took a deep breath before speaking again. “I had only been married for a year but he had for five-hundred years. You three were a family and… You are a grown male and I’m only sixteen years old. I am the one who fears what will happen next. We had a good relation as friends, like I have with Cassian or Azriel but… But I am... your father’s mate and that is difficult to face  because… I fear what you can think of me” she said quietly and her gaze went to the ground, ashamed.

 

He looked at her and said gently, “You made him fall in love again, you made him live again not just survive. I… I can’t be more grateful for that” Alec whispered and his gaze went again at the mud where Rhys and Cassian kept fighting.

 

“I grew up hearing stories about the mating bond. How my grandparents mated but it was forced and how the bond is that, only a bond between people. But then… I saw you both. How his eyes were brighter whenever he talked to you, how you smiled only because of him..”.

 

“Your bond is rare. It goes beyond any word. It’s much more than a bond. It goes beyond your bodies or minds. You are soulmates… It’s true love… But stronger and deeper that any of us had ever saw before”.

 

Alec stared at his father and uncle fighting, “He wanted to tell you. And it killed him not to. But… I have never seen him so happy as he is when he’s with you”.


	8. Family

Rhys and Cassian spent an hour pummeling each other into exhaustion, and when they trudged back into the house, bloody and filthy, one look at her mate was all it took for her to crave the smell and feel of him.

  
Cassian and Alec instantly found somewhere else to be, and Rhys didn’t bother taking Shiera's clothes all the way off before he bent her over the kitchen table and made her moan his name loud enough for the illyrians still circling high above to hear.

  
But when they finished, the tightness in his shoulders and the tension coiled in his eyes had vanished… And a knock on the door from Cassian had Rhys handing her a damp washcloth to clean herself. 

 

A moment later, the five of them had winnowed to the music and light of Velaris.

  
To home.

 

* * *

 

The sun had barely set as Rhys and Shiera walked hand in hand into the dining room of the House of Wind, and found Mor, Azriel, Alec, Amren, and Cassian already seated. Waiting for them. 

  
As one, they stood. As one, they looked at the princess. And as one, they bowed.

  
It was Amren who said “We will serve and protect”. They each placed a hand over their heart. Waiting, for Shiera's reply.

  
Rhys hadn’t warned her, and she wondered if the words were supposed to come from her heart, spoken without agenda or guile. 

 

So she voiced them “Thank you” Shiera said, willing her voice to be steady. “But I’d rather you were my friends before the serving and protecting”.

  
Mor said with a wink “We are. But we will serve and protect”. Shiera's face warmed, and she smiled at them. 

 

His family… Her family.

  
“Now that we’ve settled that” Rhys drawled from behind her, “can we please eat? I’m famished”. Amren opened her mouth with a wry smile, but he added, “Do not say what you were going to say, Amren”. Rhys gave Cassian a sharp look. Both of them were still bruised, but healing fast. “Unless you want to have it out on the roof.”

  
Amren clicked her tongue and instead jerked her chin at Shiera. “I heard you grew fangs in the forest and killed some Hybern beasts. Good for you, girl”. “She saved his sorry ass is more like it” Alec remarked, filling Mor’s glass of wine. “Poor little Rhys got himself in a bind” the blonde female purred and Shiera giggled as Alec filled her glass too.

 

Azriel stared for a moment at the princess, laughing again and she met his gaze, warm for once. Soft, even. 

 

Shiera felt Rhys tense beside her and quickly looked away from the spymaster. A glance at the guilt in Rhys’s eyes told her he was sorry and fighting it. 

  
So strange, the High Fae with their mating and primal instincts. So at odds with their ancient traditions and learning.   



	9. The letter

Shiera was halfway up the stairs an hour later when she realized that she still had no idea what room to go to. 

 

She didn't know if she had to go to her bedroom since they had returned from the cabin, but… what of his?

  
With Tamlin, he’d kept his own rooms and Shiera slept in hers. Although she had always shared a room with Tarquin. 

  
The princess was almost to her bedroom door when Rhysand drawled from behind her. “We can use your room if you like, but… ”, he was leaning against his open bedroom door, “Either your room or mine, but we’re sharing one from now on. Just tell me whether I should move my clothes or yours. If that’s alright with you”.

  
“Don’t you, you don’t want your own space?” she asked shyly, “No. Unless you do. I need you protecting me from our enemies with your deadly iron nails”.  She snorted, he had made her tell him that part of my tale over and over. She jerked her chin toward his bedroom. “Your bed is bigger” she announced and that was that.

  
They walked in to find her clothes already there, a second armoire now beside his. Shiera stared at the massive bed, then at all the open space around them.  Rhys shut the door and went to a small box on the desk, then silently handed it to his mate.  Her heart thundered as she opened the lid. The star sapphire gleamed in the candlelight, as if it were one of the Starfall spirits trapped in stone. 

 

“Your mother’s ring?” she whispered sweetly and he nodded. “It's yours, it had always been yours. But you have already a ring and I understand that…” he began but Shiera shook her head, “I can wear them both. It would be an honour to wear your mother’s ring”.

 

“I know that maybe this is meaningless but… I would like to keep things traditional even if we have a mating bond. So…” Rhysand spoke and got down on one knee, the ring shining as he held it before the princess, “Tell me, Shiera darling… Do you accept being my mate?”.

 

She felt her heart beating with the strength of a hurricane but was able to reply with a smirk “Beyond measure. Always and to whatever end”.

 

He grinned to and introduced the ring carefully in her finger until it touched her wedding one, when they joined Rhys drop a kiss on them, stood up and Shiera wrapped her arms around his back, feeling the muscles beneath the illyrian leathers as he held her by the waist.

 

“I love you” she whispered to his chest, “I love you more, so much more than you could even imagine” he replied and she snorted, “What? Don’t you believe me, my fireheart? Do I have to remind you that I have been in love with you for over thrity years?”, “I know for how long you have been in love with me but… Aren’t you capable of imagine that I can love you as much as you do?” she purred, “Maybe… but you will have to prove it” Rhys purred back and she laughed against his tattooed chest.

 

After a while of being curled up together, Rhys separated a bit from Shiera and looked into her bright green eyes, “I… I have to give you something” he declared and walked until he reached the drawer of one of the dressers. He came back and explained “This is something that I must have gave you… months ago but…” his voice faded and just held the letter in front of his mate.

 

Her eyes opened widely, like her mouth and her lower lip began to tremble when she saw the what was written on it, ‘To Shiera’.

 

Shiera’s eyes met Rhys again as she barely asked “Is…?”, she tried but her voice broke, however, her mate figured out what she meant and nodded, “I’ll give you some time, I’ll be downstairs if you need me” he offered sweetly but she shook her head, “No. Please, could… could you stay with me?”. Rhysand looked at her, astonished but he indeed understood why she didn’t want to be alone while reading the letter that Tarquin had written for her before being murdered.

 

Rhys sat on the bed and Shiera slid on his lap, into his embrace as her trembling fingers opened the letter.

 

* * *

 

 

‘To my beloved wife,

 

My wonderful Shiera, if you are reading this that means that I’ve been dead for a while. I decided to write this because I know that I will not have the time enough for explain you everything and there are so many things that I want to tell you… 

 

I guess I should start from the beginning but you already know everything about the curse. When Amarantha said that I should marry a human girl capable of hunt one of Tamlin’s sentries but also one capable of loving me, I first thought that it was impossible of accomplish but one day, Tamlin appeared and he brought… I had never seen something more beautiful in my whole life. You, my love, you were so beautiful, so young and you were so frightened… 

 

But you started to get along with Cresseida, with Varian and when you smiled at me, my heart melted totally. You loved the sea with all your soul and I understood why, you were indeed like my beloved sea, bright, powerful, deep and beautiful. I fell in love with you the first time I looked into your wonderful green eyes and since then, you have carried my heart in your soft hands, my love. 

 

I noticed how you fell in love with my city, my palace, my family and then when you fell in love with me… I knew that our time together was arriving to its end, I knew that Amarantha would came to claim me but I loved you so much… I knew it was totally insane but I proposed you and when you accepted was the happiest moment of my whole life.

 

You were worried because you I was immortal and you were not but I knew that I only had two months left with you and then Amarantha would lock me up and I knew that I would kill myself before being her consort.

 

Then Calanmai happened and I couldn’t believe what Tamlin tried to do to you but you have to understand, he was under the control of the spell. He is a good male, my strongest ally, indeed. I know that he will support the Summer Court after my death and help you if our beautiful Court needs anything. It’s true that he is impulsive sometimes but, as a High Lord, I trust him.

 

The day of our wedding came and I could not be more nervous, I knew that you were too young to get married but I loved you so much… I know you deserved a big and great wedding but I was forced to only give you a little and private ceremony. Believe me, I know that it wasn't the proper wedding that I wanted to give you but it was the only one that we could have if we wanted that Amarantha couldn't found out what we were doing. 

 

You were so beautiful that day that I couldn’t even breath, Varian walked with you and when you arrived I wanted to kiss you in that right moment, to kiss your wonderful lips and forget everything else. I wished that the curse didn't exist and that we could have a proper marriage, above all, to be the husband that you deserved. 

 

Then, after the Solstice, Rhys came and I didn’t know if he was there as for Prythian or under Amarantha’s command. You knew him and even if we thought that you would be frightened, you spoke with him and began to ask questions that… He managed not to tell you about the curse and I understood that he had came to warn us because his eyes didn’t leave you, he focused in every movement you made in every look we shared. At first I didn’t understand why, I was only focused on keeping you save, that’s why I sent you away, my princess. Even if it was the last thing I wanted to do, I needed you to be safe the day that Amarantha would came. That last night that we were together, I tried to tell you… but words were not enough to tell you how much I love you.

 

You were so stubborn that you went Under the Mountain for me and when the Attor appeared with you, my heart stopped and I saw that you broke even Rhys’ mask for a moment and I thought that he was infatuated with you. Anyway, you found a way to try to break the curse, you were ready to give your life for me, for us while I couldn't do anything to help you.

 

Everyday, I feared for your live. They whipped you but you didn’t break, you remained strong and I couldn't be more proud but also more frightened. During the first trial you were injured and I begged to the Cauldron, and as a response, Rhysand made a deal with you and saved your life. 

 

And today, when I was finally able to taste your wonderful lips again, I forgot that I was a prisoner, just like you. I only focused in you, my love, between my arms. I was so stupid that I totally forgot the consequences of our actions. Fortunately, Rhys came and found a way to explain that but when I saw you together… I admit it, I was jealous. It seemed like you had something between you, not love but something more, although I didn’t know what was that.

 

Afterwards, Rhys and I were able to open up and I couldn’t believe what he told me. After all I had heard about him… He is not what everyone has told you, that is what he wants everyone to believe, his favourite mask, to protect his people. 

 

Now I understand why he couldn’t take his eyes of you, why he was so nervous when you appeared with the Attor. You might be my wife but you are also his mate, and that is a deep and strong bond that goes far beyond any wedding vow. 

 

At first I was completely astonished but now I understand why you are mates. You loved the sea, the blue ocean with all your heart, your soul but you told me that you also felt a deep bond to the stars. Ocean and stars, Summer Court and Night Court, me and Rhysand.

 

You are his mate and he loves you, he loves you so much that he is willing to help you with the trials but then contend his instincts and let us be together. 

 

But that’s not possible, I knew that from the day I met you, our time together was limited and when Rhys told me that kind of vision you had, I understood. You, my love, will leave this mountain alive but I an not.

 

I know that I’m going to die here but I am not afraid to death, I only fear what could happen to you. Promise me not to break after I’m gone, I couldn't bear to see you broken. But if you do, I hope that Rhys can help you because he is the only one who has been able to make you smile in this prison. 

 

I also know that after my death you will say that you will not be able to open your heart again for someone but I need you to do it, I need you to find happiness again and maybe your mate is the chosen one. 

 

Rhys is the best male I have ever met, a better High Lord that I will ever be. And he loves you, he loves you even more that he is able to express. He thinks that you will never be able to love him but I thought the same when I met you. I hope you will learn to love him and together, find a way to heal this broken world.

 

I haven’t been able to save you, my love, but I hope you can save Rhys. After all he have been through, he deserves more than anyone I know, an opportunity to find love and if he heals your broken heart and you heal his, I will always be grateful and relieved that you will find happiness again. Both of you deserve it. 

 

I understand that you will not be able to bear being in our palace after my death and maybe you will make Rhys Court your new home. I will be grateful for that, you deserve to find a home but I hope you don’t forget that the Summer Court will be always there for you; and my family, Varian and Cress, will always be your family, even if I am not with you. 

 

At last but not least, I knew that I wouldn’t have all the time I wanted with you and that will ever be my biggest regret, not telling you how beautiful, kind, brave and wise you are, my princess. I should have told you everyday, because you were perfect everyday.

 

Everytime that we were together, I only focused in how wonderful you were. I will never forget you, your beautiful smile, your bright laugh, your stunning eyes, so deep that I could drown in them, the way you look at the sea and express you love for it, how you fear the darkness but love the stars, how you fell asleep between my arms and I didn’t want to leave your side for all eternity and how your green eyes met mine and you made my heart melt completely.

 

I need you to live your live happily so don’t think about me too often, I don’t want to upset you.

 

My Shiera, my beloved wife, my wonderful princess… I love you, I love you more than my life. I have carried you in my heart since the day I met you and even in death I will always love you. 

 

Loving you and being your husband are the best choices I have ever made. I hope you like yours.

  
  


Always yours,

 

Tarquin

 

* * *

 

She cried, cried while Rhysand held her, his forehead against her dark hair as she wept and Rhys himself could feel two teardrops on his own cheeks. 

 

They spent minutes like that but when Shiera was able to stop her sobs, she stared at the end of the letter, drop a kiss on Tarquin's signature, placed carefully the paper on the bed and wrapped her arms around Rhys' back, feeling his own strong arms around her small body, his lips on her hair as they remained like that, trying to calm themselves after what they have read. 

 

After a time that seemed like eternity, they separated a bit just to look at each other's face. Shiera noticed Rhys' shy tears and her heart stopped when she felt his sorrow even with his shields up. He felt how she was passing a hand over his adamant mental shields, trying to understand what he was feeling and he lowered them in order to let her enter share his thoughts. 

 

Shiera's lips found his tears and Rhys did the same with hers but none of them spoke for a while, with their minds mixed. 

 

When Rhys was finally able to speak he told Shiera with a broken voice “I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry… I should have gave you this before...”. She curled up even more against his warm chest, “No, you had to wait until… the mating bond… You did the right thing. I… I cannot express how it means that you kept the letter save after all this time…After that night when he wrote it… then the last trial, the… the funeral… arriving home after fifty years, meeting Alec again… You had so many things in your mind that… I cannot thank you enough” she explained. 

 

“When he wrote it I kept it in my jacket, I still had it during the trial and I wanted to give it to you in the funeral because… you were so broken… But if I did you would knew about the bond and… I was a coward, I admit it and I beg your pardon. The first thing that I did when I realized that I could not longer live in the room that I shared with Alyx… I chose this room and I kept the letters. They have been there since that day, and every night that you slept here I wanted to give you the letter so you would understand everything but… I was selfish…”.

 

Shiera shook her head, “No, no. You weren't selfish”. “I was, I wanted, I needed to explain you everything, since the beginning but I wasn't ready. If I had done it , you might have hate me but at least you would have got the letter a long time before today. I’m sorry. Please… Forgive me”.

 

His gaze was filled in an incalculable regret and sadness. Shiera cupped his cheek with a hand and he joined his forehead with hers, “There is nothing to forgive, my love” she whispered and another tear fell from his eyes.

 


End file.
